Jesus Was The First Zombie

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
No Wikipedia.png
Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Jesus Was The First Zombie. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Jesus is generally considered to be the first Zombie to roam the earth, as he came back to life three days after he died at a cross. He lived for several years after that, and historical references state that he drank blood during this period. Theorists believe, however, that he did, in fact, consume human brains, but somehow that truth was lost over time.

One common misconception was that his disciples ate bread to remind them of jesus' flesh, it is actually that his followers ate his flesh like it was bread and drank his blood like wine.