John

For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about John.

John is the random little ~~man~~ bizarre supernatural being that is behind everything in this world.

Personality of John[edit]

John likes eating cheese.
John likes eating you.
John is a person.
And so are you. OH NO THE RHYME POLICE! HELP! GET THAT GUN AWAY FROM ME! Why is everything so dark?...