Juhan af Grann
Juhan af Grann is the carnal vehicle of The JAG, the representative of extraterrestial life and Overlord of all terrestial life on Earth. The carnal vehicle is from Finland, but The JAG's origins are unknown. Although it is damn obvious that he's straight, he vehemently denies this. His messages from the outer space are manifested as TV shows. There are, however, unfortunate reports that the carnal vehicle has succumbed to kitten huffing and has been forced to sell his director's chair, which is vital for transmission of extraterrestial messages to the people of Earth. Alien power and overlordship over Earth is likely to be compromised.