Lawn ornament

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Lawn ornament.

Chiefly American or British in usage.

Stems from colonialism. Peoples who engage in "Lawn Ornamenting" typically have self esteem problems and require to erect small dehydrated elves and dwarves in their "lawns" to feel superior. These aren't just normal elves, these are super elves. They go on magical adventures at night--usually to harass the neighbor's dogs.

Principally thought to result from the fact that both countries have lost too many wars, and so they pick on the smaller people by humiliating them through desecration of their deceased bodies.

Many old folk indulge in painting the ornaments in primary colours so that they don't step on them due to their cataracts and near blind state.