Leonardo da Vinci

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Leonardo da Vinci.

Leonard Vince, better known as Leonardo da Vinci by his homies in da 'hood, was a writer, artist, and beloved mascot of his local soccer team who lived during the Late Middle Early Modern Post-Renaissance Medieval period in the unnamed space between France and Switzerland where nobody else wanted to live. He is most often ignored for his contributions to Illogicopedia and the shoe-making industry, because he was involved in neither.


After the incident at the bowling alley, Leonardo never wanted to show his face in public again. This inevitably resulted in not having much of a life, because he only came out disguised as a mime when he wanted to buy groceries and stayed at home the rest of the time. Loser.


Twiddle, fibble, and stronk! Leonardo wrote pages upon pages of nonsense poetry in his spare time, most of which was burned by Michelangelo after they got into a hair-pulling disagreement. This spectacle was much admired by the local creeps.