Livestock Wars

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Livestock Wars. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Union of the Canadian Colonies[edit]

Soon following the union of the Canadian colonies were the undocumented wars, known as the Livestock Wars that lasted from 1834-1838. These wars were undocumented to protect the innocent virgin ears of the children of America from the horrible ways of the Canadians.

Livestock Wars[edit]

The wars, that followed the union of the Canadian colonies, were gruesome and devastating. The battles broke out mostly near the northern border, that separated the two countries, however, there are some accounts of livestock rape in Kentucky(It is still unsure whether or not these were the acts of Canadians, or those of a horny, disgruntled southerner). Some of the most famous battles were: The Battle of Pennsylvania, The Battle of Lake Eerie, The Battle Of Northern New York, and the Battle at the Border.