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Penguins in the Mafia

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Mafia (also known as "Cosa Nostra", translated as "Our Thang") is the name for a fair and balanced almost non-profit organization which provides support for unemployed people with tough sounding Italian names. It does not actually exist. Got it? This club takes it upon itself to "take out the trash" (i.e. recycling) and protect small businesses from their own typically Italian artistic temperament. That doesn't sound that bad now, does it? To be honest, it does involve guns, but, if you think about it, most people in the USA own guns and they're all fine, just fine. There is a thing about "vendetta", but you won't have to know about that if you don't screw up. Also, you're not supposed to talk about it. I'm not supposed to talk about it either, but I'm pretty sure none of the other guys waste their time on Uncyclopedia. So if you are interested in joining, gimme a call. If you're here for "other reasons" then you probably meant to go here.