Magic Screen

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Mr. Kite's soarin', Conky's still a snorin', there's the flashing Magic Screen. The Cowntess is so classy, Randy's kinda sassy, a nuttier establishment you've never seen!

~ That guy from Devo who did the music for Rugrats and Crash Bandicoot on Magic Screen
Two men trying to have sex with Magic Screen, with no success.
Pee Wee Bin Laden Herman

Magic Screen is a supercomputer, used by intergalactic terrorist Pee Wee Bin Laden Herman to do his evil biddings.


Magic Screen was built in the 1950's by the government to play pong, but was then thrown away because they realized that playing real ping-pong was easier than playing it on a crappy pink computer.

Magic Screen spent decades playing bit parts in sitcoms and movies, such as Screech on Saved by the Bell and R2D2 in Indiana Star Wars. The supercomputer developed an addiction to pain killers and was admitted to 10 rehab centers. 7 survived.

Pee Wee later found Magic Screen at a sex shop in Hollywood, and bought him. That night he attempted to have sex with it, but found there was no holes on it and left it in his closet for 1 billion years. He finally figured out how to "get inside" Magic Screen in his TV show Pee Wee's Playhouse, and in 1991 Pee Wee, Morpheus and Magic Screen had a wonderful orgy. They died seven hours later (or did they?).

Magic Screen was later revived as a physics engine for Pokemon Yellow in 1998, but was ultimately aborted due to a large number of glitches. The source of these glitches was determined to be semen ejaculated by Shigeru Miyamoto during an intense late-night session with the game. Upon discovery of this, Miyamoto was immediately fired and replaced with Steve Jobs.

Short Revival[edit]

A candlelight vigil was held for the 3 the night after, but it turned out Pee Wee and Morpheus had survived and the doctor who confirmed their deaths was blind, deaf, and could not feel.

Magic Screen was forgotten about after Pee Wee's third terrorist recruiting movie, Pee Wee's Big Arrest, was released, but in 2006, Pee Wee invited a bunch of his former fellow terrorist to an adult pool party, where they held Satanic rituals to revive Magic Screen. The rituals were lead by the sick bodyless genie Jambi. Jason Jambi uttered the phrase Mecca Lecca Hi Lecca Hiney Ho numerous times to summon Lucifer. Unfortunatley this did not work, so they tried playing Stairway to Heaven backwards. The sky turned black and dark spirts rose from the ground, surrounding the carcass of Magic Screen, reviving him, and giving away Ring Pops. Magic Screen celebrated his victorious return to life, but died seconds later through electric shock when he entered the pool.


  • Magic Screen gave Jimi Hendrix and the Beatles their first shots of LSD.
  • Is Magic Screen a guy or a girl? You just don't know!
  • Magic Screen's HD is filled with enough child porn to get you the death penalty.