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Jehovah's Witnesses


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F*** the Jehovah! F*** the Jehovah, the n00b God! I hope he chokes on the Flying Spaghettio's Monster's d***!

~ Tamia on the Watchtower Society


Jesus preaching about the evils of Uncyclopedia
The reason that only 144,000 people can drink Communion wine, and even then, only once a year
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Jesus enjoying a steak stake


He's bleeding, dying, on that midday stake of torture

~ Gladys Knight on Jehovah's Witnesses
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Today's Witness word:

Theocratic Ministry School


Publications

In addition to many tracts, they publish magazines, such as Watchtower, Awake, and Rolling Stake. The last is the inspiration for the song On the Cover of the Rolling Stake, by Doctors who don't use Blood as Medicine Show.

Watchtower Society

The Watchtower Society, aka Jehovah's Witnesses are generally a nice group of people. They, however, view themselves as the correct form of religion. If they could, like see the Heavenly hope that awaits Pastafarians, perhaps a good number would leave their mere Earthly hope in favor of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, His Heavenly Beer Volcano, and endless Alicia Keys concerts. Hell, we might see a few of them knocking on doors for the Ancient of Noodles!

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