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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mali.

This article may have been censored by His Excellency, Robert Mugabe.

What's that? you don't agree with my official policies? You're trying to undermine
Zimbabwe and her precious democracy, aren't you? TRAITORS TO THE REVOLUTION!


Mali, known to its mates as Mal-Mals, is a common Myth taught to children at a young age. It is infact a mishelf belief that such a country exists, but the Myth is so widespread it is accepted as fact, even going so far as to have supposed residents.


Mali was made up by a Nurse in the Crimean War, although rumours it was Florence Nightingale are so far unfounded. Details over the years have become somewhat hazy and blurred, hence such widely varying stories as it being a former member of the Yugoslav Republc, and the often quoted mistruth that Hitler ordered troops to invade it and purge it of people with mild asthma.

History and Politics[edit]

Perhaps the most significant event in Mali's fictional history is the war with the Moon. It was believed that after Hitler's purges failed, he retreated to the Nazi Moon Base. The Malian's under the charismatic leadership of Eighteenth Century French Monarch Louis XVI, however, were livid at the mess left by the Nazis, including crisp packets everywhere and a spate of unflushed public toilets. The War lasted two days until the Malian army realised their high powered laser cannon was actually George Lazenby in a tracksuit, leading to a hasty surrender. Despite this setback, Louis still leads the country today in his position of Thoroughly nice chap, most likely aided by his policy of Nice Cup Of Tea Tuesdays, When work is banned to allow people to have a nice cup of tea and a chat


Mali's economy under the enigmatic Chancellor Trevor McDonald has performed remarkably. Mali is known for its fantastic Baked Goods, both savouries and sweets, and McDonald has harnessed this to see international trade flourish. However, critics have argued that a false picture is painted of the economy, owing to the fact that the country is fictional and therefore can publish accounts to say very much anything. However, this is widely viewed as an over-zealous view.

Sporting Prowess[edit]

Having won the inaugral world cup of Basinball, a sport admittedly known only to the pages of Mali, Mali has launched an audacious bid for the Rugby World Cup in 2015. Rival in their bid New Zealand has pointed to Mali's lack of Rugby team, Stadiums, population and existence as low points, but Mali remain confident in their bid. They have recently made applications to take part in the 2010 Football World Cup and the 2012 London Olympics, again the same issues about existence and suchlike have been raised but the Malians say this will not be a problem.