Massachusetts

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A state of the United States of Dæmonica

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts is a place in the northeastern United States where nothing is straight, especially the roads. It is the only Autonomous Federated Soviet Republic that survived the collapse of the U.S.S.R.

The name is often mispronounced MassiveJewTits (or even MassiveTwoShits). Not even the President gets it right. It is renowned as one of the most humble, self-sacrificing, and manly gay territories in the United States. That doesn't mean it is.

Massachusetts is populated primarily by Massholes, who are also the worst drivers ever. They get drunk, drive recklessly, weave among traffic at 25 over the speed limit, and throw litter out the window of their car, which has a busted tail light, confident that their fate will be benign based on the sticker on the rear window that says, "State Troopers are our Best Protection."

Communist Hippies thrive in cities such as Northampton and in major colleges like U.Mass. Most of them wear sandals even in winter. Colleges in Boston also house tons of rich kids spending their parents' money with impunity, while learning how to overthrow the system under which the money was made.