Mauritius

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mauritius.

Mauritius is an island nation, located only slightly outside Earth's orbit. Many people believe Mauritius is off the coast of Africa, but that's actually an optical illusion that was put there by the Mauritians so no one would bother them. Attempts to go to this illusion usually gets a 404 Not Found Error.

Politics[edit]

Being the only nation that is in Earth's orbit, it often has problems being hit with all the nuclear missiles George W. Bush keeps firing at the Martians. When the Mauritian fuhrer, Keith Urban, asked Bush to stop because the missiles were hitting the country, Bush responded, "Sorry, I was aimin' at Uranus lolololol!!!11" then proceded to attack Mauritius because, "they've got oil". This is true because Mauritius has every possible resource that comes out of their main landmark, the internet. Mauritius is currently fascist. When asked why, Fuhrer Keith Urban systametically executed the reporter. Questions about fascism have never been asked since. Well, two more reporters asked the question, but it sounds cooler to say that it has never been asked since.

Economy[edit]

Being in earth's orbit, trade is especially annoying for Mauritians since they only have one jetpack which Furher Urban ordered that they share. However, in 2004 the jetpack was destroyed when someone logged into Mauritius, got on the jetpack and started spamming the lines saying, "sriuzly guys wat buton is up". He then crashed into the ground causing an earthquake that split New Zealand into two pieces. Because they can no longer get to the ground, Mauritians usually don't buy anything. All their possessions come from UFOs that get sucked into earth's orbit and crashland onto Mauritius.

Population[edit]

Mauritius, despite being extremely small, holds over twenty billion people. No one has yet figured out how this is possible.

History[edit]

Mauritius used to be inside a volcano deep beneath Kansas. However, this proved to be a problem for the primitive Mauritians who couldn't really breathe and were often getting flamed by the volcano, with phrases such as "u luzer" and "i hat u zomg u idiot i kuld snipe u in cnter srikte". With these eruptions of flames coming more and more often, Mauritius got really pissed off and flew through the ground ( no one's quite sure how ) and left earth. However, before they could get out of earth's orbit, their engines died. Mauritius has been floating around the earth ever since. With everyone kind of confused about what to do, Keith Urban declared himself the fuhrer and, consequently, Pope Urban VII.

Military[edit]

There is no military for Mauritius. When they get angry, they just throw rocks down at Earth, but these get burned up in the atmosphere. As such, Mauritius is often ridiculed and ignored by most other nations. Mauritius onced tried to join the UN but Prime Minister Tony Blair replied, "Do you support the War in Iraq?" to which Fuhrer Urban replied, "Not really, no." Tony Blair then denied their request, saying, "The last thing we need is another intelligent country in the UN."

Criticism of Mauritius[edit]

The island nation of Mauritius is often criticised for Fuhrer Urban's emocaust, in which he has send all emo people to the Emo Kamps in the western part of the country. Though emo people enjoy Emo Kamps because of their enjoyment of suffering, the other nations still complain for the hell of it. Ask an American "have you ever been to Mauritius?" and their answer will be something along the lines of "Mauritius?! WTF is THAT???"

Religion[edit]

The Pope has declared the country is Catholic. Because Mauritius is in space, no one has bothered to tell them that Catholocism has been dissolved. As it looks, it is doubtful anyone cares.