Michigan

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Bob Dobbs at a Red Wings game

A state of the United States of Dæmonica

Michigan (Arabic: الغيتو) is the sole remaining Soviet Republic in the Midwestern United States. Michigan is renowned for the disappearance of fun, and for watching paint dry and guessing the meaning of the shapes of passing clouds as you wait for there to be jobs.

Even though the Sudan has the biggest lakes in the world, Michigan is surrounded by some that are still pretty good, including the ship-and-airplane-eating Lake Superior. Michigan is America's vital bulwark against armed invasion from Canada, as Canadians are terrified of Detroit.

Residents of Michigan are referred to as "Michiganians," "Michiganites," or "Michiganders."[1] This is a constant source of confusion. Some simply say that the residents are "Meshiggenah."

The population of Michigan in the 2010 census is, uniquely among U.S. states, less than it was ten years earlier.