“Fucking a midget is like doing a baby except it's legal.”
~ You on You sick shit!
The Midgets are the result of the evolution of the common big toe ( circa 3,000,000 B.C.E. ). After years of being stepped on, the earliest midgets detached from their hosts and went into the wild. These "toes" were to remain hidden for the next million years. Some went wild 'to the max', and these midgets are now refered to as Feral Midgets. Please note that while they're small & annoying like midgets, Ewoks are more closely related to Oompah Loompahs.
During this time of peace and solitude in the world, there was a great internal strife secretly happening, as the midgets had a rudimentary feudal system. Slowly but surely, one ambitious midget, Gangish Toe, conglomerated a lot of the feudal communities forming what was known as The Galactic Empire. Gangish Toe was as ruthless as he was bloodthirsty and left no corner of the world untouched by his wrath.
Years of murderous rule left many citizens of nations unsatisfied. They formed the First Midget Communist Party, and secretly began invading television stations and Hollywood movies. This forced Gangish Toe to form the Death Foot, a gigantic replica of their former host's foot, which could re-attach midgets to itself
Some of the first recordings of an early midget civilization, the Hobbits, are portrayed in JRR Tolkien's scientific paper The Lord of the Rings. This unusually hairy bunch of midgets died out in the late 20th century as Cro-Midgetons, with their superior tool-making and less body hair, began taking over their territory. It is believed that some hobbits exist in small pockets in remote corners of Middle Earth, but such reports have yet to be verified.
Using their fleet of Pokemon, the First Midget Communists launched several quarks completely obliterating both the Emperor Gangish Toe and the entire midget race ( including themselves ). Midgets have been thought to have all perished however, recent reports of a Cambodian Fighting Midgets group have emerged. Unfortunately, breaking news reports that in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe, Cambodian Fighting Midgets lost 1-0 to Team African Lion and were wiped out as a race, once again being lost due to Pharaoh's Rules.
Midget Arson is a growing activity among gangs of the small people. Early pioneers of midget arson include the late Sir Edward McShortstuff.
Other recordings of midget gangs across the world are at large quantities in the area of Sydney. The leading of which called, Midget Power, is a group of fellow midgets helping each other bring disgrace to all tall people.
Tall midgets act as special operatives, being able to blend in with tall people unsuspected.
Erik Glenn is known as a "teenage midget ninja turtle."
Some contend that midgets ( or "midgits", as they are know to the Pastafarians ) were created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the likeness of a human ( despite the fact that midgits predate humans in Pastafarian theology ). There is still much debate as to which of the theories, midget evolution or midgit creationism, is correct. The official victor of this dispute is to be determined by the Kansas Board of Education.
Every so often a festival is held to honour the midgets of the world, in this festival there is the midget tossing event. To have a successesful throw you have to put your prefered hand of the midgets tiny penis and testies and your other hand into the eyes or nostrils of it. ( You used to be able to hold the mouth untill the midgets bit off the peoples fingers when they were hungry. ) then fling your midget as far as you can into a pile of mud or a bin depending on the state rules. The winner is the midget that goes the furthest.
Midget as a descriptor for people
Many such people find the term "midget" extremely offensive, and insist on being called Bigfoot.
- The Midget: The Midget is the bad guy from the cartoon Fire Fighters. His plan is to take over the world using various methods such as armies and inventions.
- Barney Rubble on The Flintstones, him and his retarded laugh
- Those guys on Little People, Big World.
Midgets Of Reference
Erik Glenn, the famous midget penguin
Mini Me, the ruler of the world