Mister Rogers Neighborhood

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mister Rogers Neighborhood.

I wish Alicia Keys was my neighbor

~ Mr. Rogers

I run this fucking neighborhood son.

~ Mr. Rogers on Assholes

I am Gunnery Sgt. Rogers your host in this neighborhood. Fro now on, you little maggots will refer to me as sir!

~ Mr. Rogers on welcoming those to his neighborhod bootcamp.

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood is a TV show about an unmarried elderly pedophile with no career, who goes around the neighborhood looking for a job, or a woman to marry, but never wins. He is so depressed that he often talks to an imaginary child. One of his neighbors is Mr. McFeely, who works at the porno video shop, and often stops by at Mr. Rogers house to watch a porno video with him.

Half way through every episode, he brings out a toy trolley, that goes through a tunnel in the wall. Mr. Rogers is convinced that there is a fairytale land behind the wall, and he makes up weird ass stories about people that don't fucking exist.

These stories include characters such as:

Lady Aberline: Basically she is Mr. Rogers imaginary girlfriend. Daniel Tiger: A little tiger puppet, who tries to get into Lady Aberline's boobs, but never does. Grampare Tiger: It's fucking Daniel with a mustache and a hat! Do they honestly think they can fool me passing him off as another character! Corny S. Pecially: A little chipmunk who makes Weapons of Mass Destruction, who Mr. Rogers is convinced bombed the twin towers 9-11-2001. Lady Elane: An ugly bitch who always does shit to people, such as magically turning their houses upside down. Mr. Rogers is also convinced that she helped Corny bomb the twin towers. Henrietta Pussycat: Whenever somebody is talking to her, she always yells "SHUT THE MEOW UP!!!" Bob Dog: A sociopathic lunatic who beleives he's a dog. Purple Panda: Barney the Dinosaur's retarded cousin from outer space.