Mongolian barbecue was introduced to the world in 1397 by Kublai Khan, grandson of the founder of the Mongolian Empire. It was on campaign in Persia that the warrior king one day became weary of the horrible stench of goat flatulence in camp. Even the pall of smoke cast from burning hair was inadequate to cover the sporting of a whale tail. Who knew?
Now, there's a rumor going around that Michelle Obama got 28,000 tweets per minute during her speech at the Democratic National Convention of 2012, such that the Illuminati were able to secure funding to reprogram Mitt Romney and upgrade his operating system. According to Muphry's law, and several butcher's aprons, it would be unreasonable to perform otherwise.