Nature

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nature.

Nature invokes a hard hitting paranoia of yourself, and I can see why by looking at you, you piece of filth. This paranoia started when God told Eve, "You don't kill nature!". This has been misquoted in many bibles as, "In Soviet Russia, nature kills YOU!!" thanks to Russian reversal. (This is quite accurate though, so nobody is complaining). The original phrase has been further misquoted as "If you don't kill nature, nature kills YOU!" as it appeared in Paranoia Weekly. Immediately afterwards he threw Eve out of nature, and she subsequently died. He forgot about Adam though, so they were forever separated and the human populationnever had a second generation. Luckily nature doesn't exist of course, so not having it from the start isn't too different from never having it.

The scary truth is that you are all going to die. Nature is like the Mafia, first she kills your Grandparents, then your Mum and your Dad, then she's comin' for you. Some people get lucky, "She killed my kids! Score!" They proceed to brag about it to the world's newspapers in that "sympathise biatch" tone that makes you wish Nature had killed them too.

However many hippies and homosexuals have embraced their paranoia as a vent for their sexual frustration, by simply tree hugging. Some have taken this further with tree humping, and Freddy Mercury has been reported crying "I did it!"