North America

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about North America.

This unauthorized account is a forgery perpetrated by Emmanuel Goldstein. Doubleplusgood fact about this province of Oceania can be obtained from Minitrue.


North America, or "The Land of Those Truly Blessed by God", is the name given to a relatively obscure, insignificant piece of land situated approximately 1/3 of the way between Europe and Asia, just north of Mexico. North America has long been an independant country thanks to England being so kind and donating it to some hobo's.

Geography[edit]

North America is divided into two main parts: Canuckada in the north and Murka-Burka in the south. Mexico is actually part of North America, but is generally considered to be part of Latin America because Americans are gay. The distinction between Mexico and North America is blurred, as there is a state called Mexifornia in the south-central region of Murka ( w/o Burka ). Residents of that state speak Mexican and are called Texicans ( incl. ex Governers ).

Although Canuckada usually appears on maps as a large pink country, it is actually almost entirely white and frozen and much vaster than the human mind can imagine and blink on . Because the frozen wastes of Canuckada are hostile to life, they are sparsely inhabited mostly by moose, polar bears, penguins, and hockey players and even some exe players of fear factor with dolly parton ; however, humans are able to more or less thrive in a narrow temperate band close to the Murkan border.

By contrast, Murka is thickly settled and heavily industrialized. The most important industry in Murka is the destruction of the natural habitat, which is proceeding at a blinding pace.

Murka is also notable for being the location of the world's largest metropolis, Levelland.

Language and Culture[edit]

Here we have the typical Canuckadan, dressed in colorful native garb, ready to depart for work on his trusty SUV as his adoring wife looks on.
Murkan are every bit as jolly as their Canuckadan neighbors, just fatter.

The inhabitants of these regions speak mutually unintelligible languages. In Murka the language is called "English" ( although it bears little resemblance to the language of the country England ); Canuckada has two native languages: "Eh" ( a dialect of English ) and "Franglish", a bastardized offspring of the frenzied rutting of English and French when they think no one is looking.

Murka and Canuckada have radically different cultures, and different forms of government. Canuckada is ruled by a Prime Number, who achieves office by being the last person across the finish line in a potato sack race. Murka is ruled by a President, an office achieved mainly through talking. There is a lengthy process of elimination until only two candidates remain. At a designated time, these two stand on a platform and talk. Whichever candidate puts the most people to sleep wins.

North America's official band is Pink Floyd, David Gilmour having been born in the left side of North America in 1808.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH" A quote by cool people

Trade and Interaction[edit]

At at diplomatic summit, Murkan President, Roman Moronie ( left ) and Canuckadan Prime Number, Wendy Thomas, share a photo op.


Despite these tremendous linguistic and cultural differences, there is active and healthy trade and travel between Murka and Canuckada; transactions across the border are quite active, and the two regions are each others' most important trading partners. Canuckada exports maple syrup, arctic air masses, prostitutes, and poutine to Murka. In turn, Murka sends firearms, rock music, tourists, and marijuana to Canuckada. In fact, most Murkans and Canuckadans are only vaguely aware that other countries even exist. However, there are a few Canuckadans who have actually traveled outside North America a time or two, and most Murkans, especially in the Southwest, know that there's "some country where they have a lot of Mexican food."

Murka and Canuckada were established at about the same time, in 1955. Early on there was an attempt to establish a diplomatic zone on their mutual border. It was known as the "Yoopie", with diplomats referred to as "Yoopers", but it was abandoned before long, since no one saw much point. That region is now mostly inhabited by mooses and a handful of odd, but congenial, descendants of the original Yoopers.

One of the most interesting and peculiar forms of Murkan/Canuckadan interaction is a highly ritualized form of combat known as "Hokay". Despite extensive study, anthropologists have never been able to determine the rules of this ritual, but have observed that the combatants seem to engage in it willingly, even enthusiastically, despite the fact that there are always heavy casualties on both sides. a bitch country.


Countries in North America[edit]

  • Acadia
  • Alaska
  • Canada
  • Cheeseton
  • Greenland
  • Blueland
  • United States Of America
  • Mexico
  • Manilow Republic
  • China
  • Empire of oil-addiction