Obesity

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Obesity.

"Thin people can grow fatter and fatter, but it is physically impossible for fat people to grow thinner and thinner ."

~ a Sandwich on the obese.


"munch munch." "Mike Spree."

Obesity? No, this is a cat. But you could say it's obese.


Obesity ( AKA John Goodman's Disease ) is a term used to describe fat people that are extremely large, and most likely love to eat. it is also a medical term used to describe "grossly overweight" people that are risking their health. People think of obesity as a disease, but it is really a type of lifestyle.In the US, most people are overweight or obese.

Obesity in History[edit]

Obesity is just another name for America. The United States of Obesity is also a popular used term. It started when McMurder's dominated the the small country of Obesity ( America at the time ), mind controlled Jerry Springer, and overfed the country with delicious sinitionous ( shin-nish-shin-us ) poison, causing them to.... ASPLODE!!!!!1!!11!1!!

Some people suspect that Oprah Winfrey had something to do with this.

Scientific Findings on Obesity[edit]

There are a number of theories as to why obese people exist. Many believe it is a combination of various factors. Others believe it was an outdated communist war strategy to effectively immobilize America's people.

  • Higher food Consumption: obese people enjoy food 100 times more than thin people.
  • Lack of activity: obese people lack most of the energy required to do alot of activities. [1]
  • Fat Admiration: sometimes, thin people and fat people want to get fatter, so they eat and eat to obtain their wanted physique, which happens to be obese.

Scientific studies seem to show that people get obese as they eat more and do less exercise. Some fat people are ashamed of their great bodies, citing big bones, genetics and "it's glandular!" as the more likely cause.

Jenn Gill is a very famous person sufffering from morbid obesity, its really sad, however, no one cares.

Food and Obesity[edit]

Here are some foods that will make you fat and therefore obese. Nachos, Twinkies, Beef jerky, marshmallows, lard and sugar. Here are some foods that are healthy. Celery, zucchini, eggplant, Carrot Tops. Any diet-product. You can have those salads they servce in McDonald's though - they are covered in oils, mayo and seasoning.

Before embarking on any change in weight, try to enjoy being fat and think it over really hard. Do you really want to eat less than you already do?

Culture and obesity[edit]

Here is a figurine from the olden days. It depicts how fat used to be idolized

In several human cultures, obesity is associated with physical attractiveness, strength, and fertility. That is how the world should be today. However, in the US, obesity is associated with physical unattractiveness, weakness, and infertility. It is really nonsense because obesity is great, and the US needs to stop being stupid.

In the US, many negative stereotypes are commonly associated with obese people, such as the belief that they are lazy, dirty, stupid, or even evil. Some go as far to describe obese people as greedy or gluttonous, the second of the seven deadly sins. These types of criticism leads to obese people lacking self-confidence and self-doubt. In fact, obese people are smart, clean, and extremely sincere. Diets are the real evil, forcing people to change their body for others instead of themselves.

Since more and more people are getting fat, it is becoming more acceptable to be obese in society. There is a small but vocal fat acceptance movement that seeks to challenge weight-based discrimination. They should get all the support that they require and maybe it will grow and change the world.

The fact that the movement is somewhat small just proves that most Americans are scared and full of hate. People, please join the fat acceptance movement and you can make the world a better, fatter place!

Advantages of obesity[edit]

  • Risk of Anorexia is greatly reduced.
  • Obesity is often associated with positive characteristics such as good humor ( the stereotype of the jolly fat man like Santa Claus ) and an appreciation of fine cuisine.
  • Some people are more sexually attracted to obese people than to slender people .
  • More room to store beer.

More Advantages of Obesity[edit]

The nation of Canada. Oh wait, it's just a really fat guy! His name? Matt Jussila!
  • More cushin' fur the pushin'. Fat sex is great, and much more appealing.
  • You love food much more and usually tend to eat alot more than others.
  • Sun-bathing is great, and you can show off your sexy body ( see picture ).
  • When admired, you are treated like a god.

Obese Traits[edit]

Men

  • Big fat tits, and a huge belly

Women

  • Huge jiggly boobs, huge belly, fat arms, fat thighs, big butt, and cute cheeks

Helping Obesity[edit]

I will now describe alot of ways to become obese. First of all, you must love food and you must eat alot. Second, you must enjoy being fat and love your body as it grows, Third, be as lazy as you can and possibly get a partner to help you. Fourth, drink plenty of weight gain shakes. And lastly, avoid all diets, and eat alot of fattening foods.

False Rumours[edit]

  • Fat peoples' incessant farting is NOT the cause of global warming
  • Fat Bastard from Austin Powers is NOT fat. That's just an optical illusion.
  • Fat people do NOT make their pants out of childrens' skin
  • The channel tunnel is NOT the anal entry of a fat person
  • Pavarotti will NOT lose weight by singing. The fat will NOT leave his body if he sings loud enough.
  • Those are NOT so-called "man-boobs". They are large conical moles.
  • The boxing day tsunami was NOT caused by a fat person falling off a surfboard.
  • Fat people are very aware of their bodily appearances and do NOT bite off more than they can chew.
  • Göring was NOT fat. He was merely big-boned
  • Childhood obesity is NOT caused by eating too many chocolate elephants and whales on toast.
  • Fat naked people are NOT unattractive ( come on, get a good minty picture )
  • A fat person farting through a lighter will NOT result in hell on earth
  • The Nutty Professor is NOT what fat people look like at all
  • Black Holes in space are NOT the bellies of fat people
  • The Sea Levels are NOT rising because of more fat bastards being born

Famous Fat People[edit]

Famous fat people include the fat one off of Lost and Courtney Cox from Friends when she puts on the fat suit. And Pavarotti.

See also[edit]

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