Oklahoma

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A state of the United States of Dæmonica

The Persistent Vegetative State of Oklahoma, more commonly referred to as Yokelahoma, and Choctaw for White Man Build Sonic Drive-In Here, was founded in 1889 by a passel of idiot homesteaders who jumped the federal starting gun. Before its induction into the United States, Fletcher Henderson forced the Cherokee tribe from their lands in the southeast U.S. to Oklahoma. This resulted in the Trail of Tears, named for the Cherokees' reaction upon being told that they were headed to Oklahoma. The strangest occurrence in state history was the Land Run of 1889, where people willingly inhabited the state instead of moving out. Settlers who crossed the state line before the land run started were known as "Sooners", becoming the first illegal immigrants to Oklahoma, and being revered throughout the state, while illegal immigrants from Mexico are not. God, angered by this illegal immigration, gave the state the Dust Bowl and unbearable weather, which is, at best, concurrently schizophrenic and bipolar.

In order to train for the manned Mars mission, NASA is sending astronauts to Oklahoma for a year so they can get used to isolation, red dust, and otherworldly weather patterns that attempt to kill you by any means necessary regardless of the season. If the astronauts return, a test mission is planned where a Mars lander will touch down in Del City, get burgers and a Java Chiller from Sonic, and return to Kennedy Space Center.