~ Jesus on Owls
“Owl be there”
~ Tamia on Owls
“Quit yo' jibba jabba!!”
~ Mr. T on Owls
The owl is a remarkable sex toy, being the only known organism to be placed in both the mammalia and aves class. Owls have a number of practical uses and unusual abilities. Recent studies in the field of Owl Psychology have shown that some subspecies are capable of being sarcastic.
Owls contain owl blood. They are frequently sighted wearing graduation caps and coke-bottle glasses.
Uses of owls
The owl is believed to have been first domesticated in 924 BC. Bred for speed and ferocity, they were an invaluable hunting aid to early humans. It was believed that 60 owls could take down a Tyrannosaurus Rex, or less if they were armed with hand grenades.
In modern times owls are usually exploited by interning them in huge owl concentration camps where they are worked to death generating electricity by running on exercise wheels. Specially trained stitching owls are used by leatherworkers, such as cobblers ( shoemakers ), to pierce holes in leather.
Owl meat is often added to curry, whilst owl semen is used to thicken yoghurt.
OWL is also the current most popular instant messenger program among gay wizards.
File:StepBakBich.jpgOwls that have been allowed to go feral are considered to be extremely dangerous. They live in small burrows they dig in skirting boards and feed off human flesh. The only recommended course available to someone with a serious feral owl infestation is to move home and sell the old house to someone ignorant of the problem.
What some people might not know is that owls are actually created in the human digestive system. If a person consumes feathers, chicken wings, Warheads candy, and a hint of snake blood then in about 6-7 weeks an owl will form in the stomach. The owl will have to escape the body by way of the anus. The owl then balls up and enters the intestine. At the time the human will feel as if they have a case of diarrhea. They will immediately run to the closest restroom. When the human begins defecation, the owl has exactly 5 seconds to escape or it will be crushed by the intestine. In the end of this the owl flies from the anus and out of the toilet bowl into the night sky leaving the human shocked. Usually after these owl births the mothering human will commit suicide.