Paris Hilton

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Paris Hilton.



Why the fuck did she think she could sing?!?!
The new album.

Her cell phone number is 403 3830583

Not to be confused with the Paris Hilton who doesn't exist, but manages to be an ugly skank anyway.

The Paris Hilton is a hotel located on the Avenue de Suffren near the Trocadero Gardens in Paris. She needs to asplode. Rooms in the Paris Hilton offer spectacular views of the Eiffel Tower and the River Seine. This 4-star hotel offers 461 rooms ( although it has around 69 luxurious suites ), two restaurants ( with one specializing in California-style cuisine ), and many business amenities. The hotel is married to Charles de Gaulle.

Paris Hilton is a reknowned Surrealist-expressionist artist and critic and is widely regarded as a modern great of the style. Her most famous piece, an avant-garde film project entitled Wankingrick is one of the most popular films of its kind and was released to wide critical acclaim from all quarters. Paris is currently working on the follow up to 1557's Wankingrick with a new piece tentatively entitled Slut. All that has been revealed thus far about it is that it explores the ideas of femininity and tugjobs.

A night in Paris Hilton can be a relaxing or thrilling experience. You will certainly want to document all of your experiences there with audio-visual equipment, which is available for a small fee. Share the sights and sounds with your friends at home using the Internet connection available in the business center. When you are in the mood, enjoy the pay movies available in all the rooms. Should any problems arise, feel free to contact the 24 - hour front desk.


"I stayed there once. Don't see what all the fuss is about," Winston Churchill stated, after hearing of the marriage of the hotel and de Gaulle.

Person connection[edit]

Paris Hilton (person) "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm burger".

This Paris Hilton has no connection with the whore Paris Hilton who is really a man.

According to Charles de Gaulle, who in fact strenuously denies that the person Paris Hilton exists, and bans any suggestion of her existence in his homeland France, the Paris Hilton is no more "french" than the Statue of Liberty is American.

If you are ever asked in France whether you were in the Paris Hilton, never admit to it, even if you have been. This is a police setup; if you answer positively, you will be summarily executed. Charles is very possessive.

Paris Hilton is England's finest and most gorgeous ruler, although she suffers from excessive diaper rash. She is also responsible for starting the Trojan War by stealing the apple of Eris. She enjoys meats from cows, and showing her fanny from Lamborghinis. It should also be noted that Paris Hilton often appears in liger form, and should rarely, if ever, be approached. It has been said in the ancient dead sea scrolls that she is highly skilled in magic, and she maybe heavily armed with quantum telekentic death ray dildos.

It is also thought, but not yet proven, that Paris Hilton may in fact be the physical manifestation of a sexually animal transmitted disease - a supervirus that ran unchecked and became her pooch. As of yet there is no known cure for Paris Hilton, though stabbing her through her anti-heart might help. If you want to go out and kill her I seriously doubt anybody would care enough to convict you.

It is a known fact that she loves to watch herself being banged and also that she has fewer brains than her dog 'TinkerBell';

The Anorexia Days

It is also a known fact that Paris' dog Tinkerbell is being held in Guantanamo Bay in connection with a celebrity dog scandal involving Rin-Tin-Tin, Lassie, and perhaps even Scooby Doo.

Trivia about the Person[edit]

  • Paris Hilton thinks British men are ghey.
  • Paris Hilton is a British man.
  • Paris Hilton actually has a penis, and it is about 5 inches long.
  • Paris hilton is the place where sperm come to die.
  • Paris Hilton almost had sex with Donald Trump but TRUMP's hair physically attacked and sued little Tinkerbell prompting Hilton to become upset and leave.
  • Paris is the wealthiest person in the world to have contracted all of the 233 STDs known to science. ( She is also the only one who is not a self-proclaimed prostitute. )
  • The only difference between people who have heard of Paris Hilton and heard of the Eiffel Tower is that not everybody has been up the Eiffel Tower.
  • Paris Hilton once sat on a chair and it entered in her vagina.
  • Paris Hilton can count to 5 1/4, because after that she normally comes.
  • Paris Hilton's vaginal juices can eat through seventy-three different types of metal, including titanium, platinum, and Nicole Ritchie's robotic endoskeleton.
  • She has made it her goal to be the first woman to suck someone off on the moon. The man in the moon has since gone into hiding.
  • Paris Hilton's Hero is John Locke, or, no...like, what's the name of that hot guy on Lost who talks Southern and stuff?
  • She says she and 7-11 have a lot in common. They're both open 24 / 7.
  • In 2018, Paris will release a deadly virus that will kill most of the human population on the planet, causing Marty McFly to travel back in time and try to stop her.
  • Even after she dies, she will still be skull-fucked in her rotting eye socket
  • Paris has a clone, AKA the "Paris 2.0". Paris 2.0 is currently Miss Prostitute 2007.
  • Paris is also known to be the lead vocalist in a brutal deathgrind band known as "Paris Hilton".
  • Paris Hilton has had sexual intercourse with everyone on the planet Earth at least once ( Including you! You just don't know it yet ).
  • Paris Hilton thinks that Britney Spears has the best pussy ever. ( This makes her other lesbian friends so mad )
  • She has had sex with her dog Tinkerbell.
  • Paris Hilton has never told anyone about the big penis she has got.
  • Paris Hilton's nipples glow in the dark.

External links[edit]