From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Saint Patella, waving his boney arms.

Patellaology is the worship of the almighty Saint Patella, patron saint of all cartilage and knee caps.

Saint Patella[edit]

He (yes, it' is a he) has existed for 6 months or so from the time of this writing (May, 2008), so he is extremely ancient and powerful, and should be approached with extreme caution. His minions are sharks, simply because they have a skeleton of cartilage. The sharks are coming to take over the world, because Dr Evil has given them a weapon called a laser-taped-to-head. The only problem is they can't breathe air. So. That sort of sets things back a little bit.

The Beginning[edit]

This cult began because of two very important people (V.I.Ps). These two main popes/pope-ettes are known as Alletap and Maester Slatter. These two V.I.P.s had a dream. A dream that said, basically, "If some dead guy who wrote books can start a cult about science or whatever and even corrupt Tom Cruise, then why can't we?" And so a new cult was born.

Members of the cult traditionally carry a small piece of bone from the shin of a pig. Cult members greet each other by bashing the other on the head with the pig bone, whereupon they recite the Holy Word "Oooooof".

The Corrupting[edit]

The cult had to find a cheap easy way to get new lay members, so the pope-ettes began on the popular online roll-playing game Runescape. They both started a file each, and began to tell all the n00bz in Lumbridge how almighty Saint Patella is. Maester Slatter used his womanly wiles ("Wanna have cex? Join our cult! Or press 123") while Alletap bribed people ("free armour trimming if youu join our cult") and got a grand total of two or three people. After the initial success of Runescape crusading, things went quiet for a while, and the pope-ettes layed low so Runescape moderators wouldn't tell their mothers what they had been doing and get them a smack. Then came another dream - this time of a prophet, the almighty "Aka Chilla".

Aka Chilla[edit]

Aka Chilla

Very little is known about Aka Chilla, except that he is very hairy, and plays football, possibly somewhere in South America. During the long hot summer of 2008 Aka Chilla began his ministry, wandering the planet leaving cryptic messages in public toilets and phone booths. In April of that year, in a public outhouse in Texas a message ascribed to Aka Chilla appeared above the door of the third cubicle which read "Prepare for the coming of the boney one, Saint Patella." Mostly ignored by the Catholic Church the event was met with open joy from the four or five members of the Cult of Patellaology.