Nearly all the world now knows of the fantastic origin of Penetrator, the Priapic man. In the year 2022, while inspecting the site of a disastrous nuclear incident, mild-mannered ex-President Bill Clinton, was exposed to asonishing levels of radiation. Clinton was rushed to the medical facilities at Gi-Joe headquarters, where he spent the next 5 months recovering. When his bandages were finally removed, the world learned the awful truth about his condition: Not only had several body parts been replaced by cybernetic prosthetics, the radiation had also mutated Clinton drastically.
Horrified by his newly mangled appearance, and weary to put the incident far behind him, he fled to the Clinton "Fortress of Solitude" in Arkansas, where he planned his next move. After months of therapy, cosmetic surgery, and frequent BJs, he emerged from his seclusion as the superhero the world has come to rely on - Penetrator. Now he wages a never ending battle for truth, justice, and that ass, fucking anything and everything he can, while at the same time balancing the budget and dancing to the Macarena.
A black leather domino mask obscures his burnt face, while his matching black and red tunic style suit accentuates his cyborg and mutant appendages to dramatic effect. His pants have a special latch that can be quickly unhooked whenever the need for his penetrative powers arises. Emblazoned upon his chest is the world famous Penetrator symbol, a yellow circle containing the sillouette of a Bottle of viagra, a symbol which even today strikes fear in the hearts of evil-doers and and single women alike. (Anyone who wishes to draw this will be thanked).
The Penetrator is powered by 40 pounds of pure Marijuanite, giving his already fearsome powers further heft. However, the excess energy has given him a voracious sexual appetite rivaled only by his thrist for more sex. Because of his exploits, he has saved countless men from having to engage in sexual intercourse with terrifying companions, and for this, he is hailed as an international superhero.
Penetrator's first act after coming out as a superhero was to dramatically reform the United Nations. No longer a body of deliberation for the nations of the Planet Earth, the U.N. is now composed solely of Earth's Super Heroes. Every week, these heroes meet to discuss the world's problems, and to give Penetrator opportunities to make out with hotties.
Penetrator also created the American Superhero team, Americorps. When he isn't working along side Americorps, he is seen in the company of his young sidekick Clinton-Lad, who bears a striking resemblance to white house cub reporter and Clinton's ward, Jimmy Olsen.
Famous Penetratees of the Penetrator
- Monica Lewinsky
- Margaret Thatcher
- Britney Spears
- Stone Cold Steve Austin
- The Queen
- Barney The Dinosaur