Power Rangers

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Power Rangers.

Hai!Wait-WTF AM I DOING,LISTENING TO A BUNCH OF DRUNK PROSITUTE TEENAGERS?SCREW YOU!

~ Megazord on Power Rangers


...into this evil, smoke-spewing, power plant.

Series Overview[edit]

The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is the story of seven real life super heros who fight evil day in a day out. The series takes place in the town of Angel Grove, California. One day in 1993 two astronauts were walking around on the Moon smoking weed when they discovered what appeared to be a large lamp. The two men decided to rub it in search of a geenie. To their surprise they discovered an ugly Witch and some queer aliens. The witch called her self Queen Rita Repulsa and claimed that a wise sage condemned her to confinement without sex for 10,000 years within a lamp full of queer ailens. The astronauts offered her blunt but she refused claiming that she had "work" to take care of.

Power Rangers: The Series[edit]

  • The first boss in Shadow of the Colossus
  • Coleman as the most disappointing ranger ever, his color was paintball
  • Gilang as the Lazy Bum from episode 1 ( the guy that got hit by an ant and died )
  • The Blockheads as Bulk and Skull.
  • Madonna as Rita Repulsa.
  • David Letterman as Lord Zedd.
  • Steve Ballmer as himself.
  • Jay Leno as Zordon.
  • Steve Buscemi as himself.
  • John Stamos as Red Ranger
  • Flavor Flav as the Black Ranger.
  • Bob Saget as the Blue Ranger.
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the Yellow Ranger.
  • Mariah Carey as the Pink Ranger.
  • Martha Stewart as the Scented Light Aqua Turquoise Ranger.
  • Dave Coulier as the Green Ranger.
  • Danny Tanner as the White Ranger.
  • Crow T. Robot as the Gold Ranger.
  • Cojo as the gay Purple Ranger who never made the cut.
  • the Spider who caught a coupla flies as Lord Zed.
  • The voice of Vash the Stampede as the Asian Black Ranger, not to be confused with the Black Asian Ranger.
  • An angry, gun weilding Italian as Alpha 5.
  • Willy Wonka as Michael Jackson.
  • Michael Jackson as Willy Wonka.
  • Christopher LLoyd as the Wrench Ranger.
  • The Blue Man Group as the Putty Patrol.
  • Danny Devito as the blue monster who hangs out with Rita Repulsa.
  • Ray Nagin as the bewildered, blame-seeking mayor of Angel Grove.
  • Johnny Depp as a drunken pirate who wandered onto the set.
  • Godzilla as the Lizard Ranger.
  • Tony Danza as a hostage in episodes 4 - 23.
  • Elton John as Alpha 5.
  • BlackMystechRanger as Ray-Z.
  • BozQ as Some Prostitute
  • Chuck Norris as himself
  • Megazord as himself, Cher used as regular stand in.
  • Mecha Strizan as the mutated form of Barbara Strizan, episode banned due to the horror of Barbara's face causing heads to explode and expectant mothers to give premature births.

With special cameo appearances by:

  • Oscar Wilde as "The Insane Sword-Wielding Marauder seen for a few frames in Episode 1 of Season 3". This started Mr. Wildes hatred of the Power Rangers by not letting him wear tights, and not providing the freshest bagels ever for his eating pleasure.
  • Simple Plan as annoying whining brats who cry about their life.
  • Carnie Wilson as one of Rita Repulsa's huge monsters on steroids
  • Ronald McDonald as the clown who wouldn't laugh until the fat guy and the thin guy from the first series did something silly
  • Colonel Sanders as the guy who wouldn't laugh until Mcdonald's ass had been kicked
  • Alf as an obnoxious but lovable alien victimized by Rita Repulsa
  • Lou Dobbs as a grumpy, socially-conservative old man calling for tighter border security between the earth and the moon
  • Sora as The Guy that they beat up at the end of the episode because they want his keyblade
  • Giant Enemy Crab as a stunt double for several of the monsters when he ran out of work in Japan. Unfortunately, his weak point was often exploited for massive damage.

Power Rangers Spinoff Series[edit]

  • The Lord of the Power Rangers: The Return of the Power Rangers
  • Super Size Me ( an anti-fitness video ), "get big fast"!

( Warning May cause lowering of voice pitch, need for destruction, gas and random death by giant robot. )

  • The Wiggles
  • Power Rangers 11: The Naked Mile
  • Power Rangers Uncut: A documentary on the terrible editing process that involves taking Japanese footage and adding American voices.
  • Power Rangers: Teens gone Wild, Volume 12 XXX
  • Power Rangers: My Struggle
  • Diet Power Rangers ( With Splenda )
  • Diet Cherry Vanilla Power Rangers
  • Power Rangers: Frogzard Strikes Back
  • Power Rangers: The Second to Last Stand
  • Power Rangers: Special Victims Unit
  • Power Rangers: Elevator Inspection Team
  • World of PoWar-Ranger-Craft
  • Power Rangers Underwater
  • Power Rangers UnderWEAR
  • Power Rangers: Shrinking Squad
  • Power Rangers: Lemon and Lime
  • Power Rangers: The Last Airbender
  • Super Duper Power Rangers
  • Power Rangers and the Deathly Hallows
  • Wild Party Power Rangers
  • Park Rangers
  • Power Rangers: The SS
  • Power Rangers: Miami
  • Animorphs
  • Power Rangers 64
  • Power Rangers 65
  • Power Rangers 69... hehe
  • Power Strangers
  • The Drew Carey Show
  • Power Rangers: Insurgency
  • Power Rangers: Teh Vesti
  • Power Rangers Sex Talk
  • Shower Rangers
  • Power Rangers: San Andreas
  • Texas Rangers: Walker Force
  • Power Rangers MC
  • Power Rangers Spandex Revealed
  • Power Rangers Techno Remix
  • Power Rangers and the Magic Vibrator
  • Power Rangers Myspace
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Power Rangers
  • Power Rangers Burglar Force
  • Power Rangers and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Power Rangers: Ghostbusters
  • Power Rangers Gay Edition - The Blue Ranger visits San Francisco, Fire Island, and South Beach
  • Power Rangers: Again!!!???
  • Ford Rangers
  • Power Rangers: National Security
  • Power Rangers: Support our Troops
  • Power Rangers and the Half-Blood Prince
  • Power Rangers: NRA
  • Power Rangers: FireRed and LeafGreen
  • CSI: Power Rangers
  • Power Rangers: Operation Irken Empire
  • Power Rangers: Pearl Islands
  • My Big Fat Power Rangers Wedding
  • Rump Rangers
  • Sregnar Rewop
  • Power Rangers Oscar Wilde
  • Power Rangers Ocarina Of Time
  • Power Rangers The Wind Waker
  • Plumber Rangers
  • Powerpuff Girls
  • Sailor Moon
  • Power Rangers and the Chamber of Secrets
  • Sailor Puff and the Girls from the Moon Rangers
  • Power Rangers Uncyclopedia
  • Cbjre Enatref EBG13
  • Super Strong Warner Siblings
  • Power Rangers: Johto Journeys
  • Power Rangers - Plumbing Force
  • Power Rangers Prostitutes
  • Power Rangers Foosball Quest
  • Power Rangers: Double Dash
  • Power Rangers and the Order of the Phoenix
  • Power Rangers meet Popeye and Fight over the Golden Dildo to Rule them All
  • Power Kart
  • Shopping with the Power Rangers
  • Amy Jo Johnson Writes some Music as Austin St. John stars in another Gay Porno
  • Power Rangers: Forest Rush
  • Powerstar Ranger
  • Power Rangers 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
  • Power Rangers: Another Movie
  • Power Rangers Animation Team
  • Power Rangers X
  • American Idol Power Rangers
  • Speed Ranger
  • Power Rangers and the Philosopher's Stone
  • Power Rangers and Buttbrain
  • Power Rangers Anal Excavation Team
  • Bomberman
  • Teletubbies
  • Microsoft
  • Power Rangers: Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd GET IT AWN!!! ( Yuck! )
  • VR Troopers
  • Big bad BettleBorgs
  • Billy Joel Moons Super Mario for a Second Time
  • Power Rangers MSN
  • Dilbert
  • Garfield
  • Power Rangers: Sexyback
  • Mighty Morphin' Ass Rangers
  • Really now some of this shit doesn't even make sense... the musical
  • Power Rangers vs. The Feces Fighters
  • sup3r u1tr3h 1337 [email protected]
  • Mighty Morphin' PowerCard
  • Grand Theft Zord: Vice Ranger
  • Power Ranger Potty Training
  • Power Rangers and the Goblet of Fire
  • Power Rangers: Gardening Squad
  • Power Rangers Protect the Environment
  • Power Rangers: Sregnar Rewaop
  • Power Rangers: Imma Chargin Mah Lahsaz!
  • Power Rangers: Imma Firin Mah Lasazs!
  • Power Rangers: Shhop da Whoop!
  • Flower Rangers
  • Spiderman And His Amazing Friends
  • Zordon's Slaves
  • Project Power Runway Ranger
  • Vulgar Rangers
  • The Rainbow Buddies
  • Not another Power Rangers Movie.
  • Poopy Rangers
  • Barney
  • Power Rangers Explore Homosexuality
  • Power Rangers: Crime Investigation Agency
  • pawer rabgerz iz totally ghey
  • Power Rangers in WWII
  • Power Rangers 120 - Hour MARATHON
  • Mighty Mexican FLOUR TORTILLIAS WITH BEANS, NACHO, GUACAMOLE(50 cents Extra), CHEESE, EXTRE' HOT-SPECIALTY SALSA, CORN CHIPS WITH ALL-NATURAL SALT, LIME SEASONING, FECES, URINE, AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER TACOTASTIC GOODIES! NO, THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT! GO TO TACO BUILDING RIGHT AWAY AND FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF AND GET GREAT DISCOUNT STOCK PRICES! ONLY AT "TACO BUILDING"! YAEY
  • Deathic Goth
  • WE ALSO HAVE PRAWN SHRIMP FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! AT TACO BUILDING!
  • Power Rangers get laid.... by a fish

Famous battles in the series[edit]

  • Power Rangers vs. Firefox
  • Power Rangers vs. Tarzan and Jane
  • Power Rangers vs. Adolf Hitler und das Drittes Reich
  • Power Rangers vs. Optimus Prime
  • Power Rangers vs. Telstra
  • Power Rangers vs. Their Careers after the show
  • Power Rangers vs. Monster of the Week
  • Power Rangers vs. Chuck Norris
  • Power Rangers vs. Captain Planet
  • Power Rangers vs. George W. Bush
  • Power Rangers vs. Batman
  • Power Rangers vs. Al-Qaeda
  • Power Rangers vs. Godzilla
  • Power Rangers vs. This Guy
  • Power Rangers vs. Satan
  • Power Rangers vs. Michael Jackson
  • Power Rangers vs. Other Power Rangers
  • Power Rangers vs. The Walmart Manager
  • Power Rangers vs. The Justice League of Jesus
  • Power Rangers vs. Mr. T
  • Power Rangers vs. Your Mom
  • Power Rangers vs. Jebus
  • Power Rangers vs. Soccer Moms
  • Power Rangers vs. Stan
  • Power Rangers vs. The Prism Rangers
  • Power Rangers vs. Oscar Wilde
  • Power Rangers vs. Repetition vs. Power Rangers vs. Repitition
  • Really now this shit doesn't even make sense... vs. Power Rangers

Actual Power Rangers Series[edit]

  • Power Rangers and the super-silly-strap-on-snicker-snaps ultra-googley-moogley-tomfooery adventure Part 23 - #13b. ( Great Storyline )
  • Power Rangers Zeo aka Three utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot magical creatures plus two blocks of lego.
  • Power Rangers Turbo aka Living cars fight cyborg fish people.
  • Power Rangers in space aka Actual utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot whatevers not seen until end of series.
  • Power Rangers Lost Galaxy aka Utterly useless and blown out of proportion living creatures.
  • Power Rangers Lightspeed rescue aka Rescue Heroes in spandex with a strange lacking of utterly useless and blown out of proportion police car.
  • Power Rangers Time Force aka Police from the future with terrible law enforcement skills.
  • Power Rangers Wild Force aka A large amount of utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot creatures that are similar to lego.
  • Power Rangers Ninja Storm aka Teenage ninjas fight space ninjas with giant marbles.
  • Power Rangers Dino Thunder aka Ripoff of Mighty Morphin' and Wild Force.
  • Power Rangers S.P.D. aka Police in spandex.
  • Power Rangers Mystic Force aka Utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robots piloted by magicians with magic cell phones.
  • Power Rangers Operation Overdrive aka Cheap ripoff of Dino Thunder, which is in turn a ripoff of Mighty Morphin' and Wild Force.

Power Ranger parody series[edit]

  • powdered toast rangers
  • applesauce rangers
  • Sega Rangers
  • Sony Rangers
  • Polish Rangers
  • Rockin' Rangers
  • Redneck Rangers
  • Disco Rangers
  • Random Rangers
  • Tool Time Rangers
  • Big Sexy Taco Ranger
  • Sexy Rangers
  • Grand Theft Rangers
  • Voltage Rangers
  • Boston Rangers
  • Wicked Rangers
  • Hank Hill Rangers
  • Dickwad Rangers
  • Asshole Rangers
  • Satan Rangers
  • Simpson Rangers
  • Ripoff Rangers
  • Rehash Rangers
  • Cash-In Rangers
  • Take-Out Rangers
  • Biker Rangers
  • Inbred Rangers
  • Yoshi Rangers
  • Commie Rangers
  • Golden Rangers
  • Playboy Rangers
  • Wiki Rangers
  • Buford's Rangers
  • TV Rangers
  • Army Rangers
  • Navy Rangers
  • Funky Rangers
  • Evil Rangers
  • Chinese Rangers
  • Koopa Rangers
  • Penis Rangers
  • Spandex Rangers
  • Hitler Rangers
  • Jolly Rangers
  • Rump Rangers
  • Rangers
  • Go Go Freakin' Parody Rangers

Trivia[edit]

  • Later all of the above actors were hospitalized, died or were committed to the Betty Ford Clinic, due to a mass spate of roundhouse kick related injuries on set. The producers subsequently replaced all actors with Chuck Norris due to his invincibility. As a result, the quality of acting exhibited in the show declined dramatically, widely attributed to the fact that Chuck Norris is incapable of reproducing the range of facial expressions exhibited by rigid plastic masks.
  • At the end of some episodes, the Power Rangers would explain to children that violence was not the answer and that children should not try to roundhouse kick their young friends. No one liked this part of the show.
  • Angel Grove was actually a miniature model and the giant monsters were played by normal-sized actors. However, the actors really did explode, this is apparently how Barbara Strisand died.
  • The Green Rangers shield ( worn around his shoulders ) would magically transform from cool Fibre Glass to shoddy Foil from scene to scene. When asked about this the Green Ranger morphed and killed everyone in Nagasaki, again.

Racial and Sexual Confusion[edit]

  • In the beginning, the pink, blue, and red rangers were white, the black ranger was black, and the yellow ranger was yellow, so everything made sense. Then, the black ranger turned yellow, the yellow ranger turned black, and the half white half red green ranger turned into the half white half red white ranger. In later series, the female yellow ranger turns into a male yellow ranger and the male blue ranger becomes female. A white black ranger has also been introduced. A purple ranger was briefly introduced in Power Rangers: San Francisco. A recent study by the Institute of Normal People found that more than 80% of the sexual and racial confusion found in today's youth was caused by watching Power Rangers.

Awards[edit]

The Power Rangers theme song, "Go Go Power Rangers" won a Daytime Emmy for most inspirational, thought-provoking theme song. Its only competitors were the theme songs from the Young and the Restless, The Big O, and the Price is Right.

Power Rangers was nominated by the National Institute of Stoners for Funniest Show. The awards were announced in 2007, but the Rangers are dark horse candidates compared to rivals SpongeBob SquarePants , Sesame Street and Battle B'Daman.

Power Rangers own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Green Ranger[edit]

The Green Power Ranger is the coolest one. He's the only ranger with his own theme song, and also the only one who has his own utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur. ( It's a dragon. Who f**kin' cares. ) The other five rangers share an utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur. Not only that, but his dinosaur is the most useless. It tends to whip it's tail around in the air, hitting nothing at all and thus leaving itself completely open for the enemy to attack, and eating the same smokestack/barber pole every time it appears. He calls upon this blowing in a crossover between a sword/whistle combo and an ocarina ( though it sounds like a trumpet... ), a weapon he never uses for anything else. Ever. In addition to this Green Ranger also has a shield around his neck that only looks cool, and doesn't resist any type of energy beam or physical blow. He also knows karate and has a poodle named Fermé La Bouche. Green Ranger never morphs with the others, he's too cool for that. Green Ranger is the Daniel Craig of rangers. He did one time give his stash of sweet gear to the Red Ranger, San Fransisco proceeded to implode because it was the worst episode of anything. Ever.

The Green Ranger's lip bled often after episodes for obvious reasons relating to that flute-dagger-thingy...

Summary of every Power Rangers episode ever[edit]

  • One to three of the Rangers are trying to achieve something. May or may not involve Bulk and Skull.
  • Any number of the above mentioned Rangers will suddenly be attacked by Rita's minions. They're gray.
  • They win this battle. Kindof. It's hard to tell.
  • There's a crisis. Red, Pink, Blue, Yellow and Black Ranger ( RPBY&B ) will meet with Zordon ( not to be confused with Zardoz ) and be sent out to defeat a monster. It's ugly. Green Ranger can't come, 'cause he has "limited power".
  • Red Ranger shouts "MORPHING TIME!". They morph.
  • They fight the monster. They lose.
  • They morph back and metaphorically talk about the conflict from the beginning, then morph back and apply this to fighting monsters.
  • They combine their weapons and fire some beam. They get a good hit in, but Rita interferes, throws a lightning bolt type thing down from the sky and says "GROW!" The enemy grows.
  • Nobody expects this.
  • The monster walks around without doing anything.

The following three happen in any order.

  • RPBY&B will go into an utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur. This is always as big as the fully grown monster.
  • Green Ranger arrives. He blows his whistle. Green Ranger's utterly useless and blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur arrives and fights alongside RPBY&B's utterly uselss and blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur.
  • Sometimes the monster will kick the shit out of their blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur and they all combine into an even bigger and more blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur. Otherwise they use a cheap plastic sword to kill the monster.
  • Sometimes their even bigger and more blown out of proportion toy robot dinosaur will get it's ass kicked and will step onto this titanium scooter and fire electric sparks. Otherwise, they drill a hole in the monster causing it to throw up its nachos and die of starvation.
  • Something fortunate happens. The monster dies.
  • The plot from the beginning comes to a conclusion. There's a moral.
  • Nobody pays attention to it.
  • Bulk and Skull do something funny. ( optional )

Educational Value[edit]

While being extremely violent The Power Rangers taught the children of America ( as well as the children of Mexico, England and certain parts of the former USSR ) the following very important life lessons:

  1. Though you have to be sixteen to get a drivers license you’re never too young to pilot a giant robot.
  2. When the safety and freedom of all the world’s people are in jeopardy who better to trust than a group of teenagers.
  3. A team isn’t a team without a token danceaholic black guy, a token but hot and sexy martial-arts obsessed Chinese girl and someone who looks like a hot and sexy but airheaded cheerleader.
  4. Spandex is able to withstand every form of attack known to man without hurting the person wearing it, because it's made from Chuck Norris' hair.
  5. Rome wasn’t built in a day but metropolises in south California can be destroyed and rebuilt good-as-new overnight.
  6. All giant monsters have no blood or internal organs, when injured they instead release showers of sparks.
  7. All teenagers know gymnastics or some form of martial arts.
  8. Instead of creating an army of monster minions and taking over the world, create one minion at a time, each slightly more powerful than the last.
  9. A evil genius always attacks the same city over and over again instead of using their power to take over the rest of the world, preferably an area with no superheroes.
  10. A giant self-destruct button on your chest is a battle upgrade.
  11. An enemy monster will always appear in a public-looking place yet in an area with no people around for miles.
  12. Aliens from other galaxies and evil witches that have been sealed on the moon for thousands of years all know how to speak English.
  13. Giant monsters and a giant robot can stomp around an unevacuated major city without killing any innocent people.
  14. A city can be large enough to have its own stadium, mall, college and NFL football team and still be considered ‘far off and secluded’.
  15. No matter how geeky, out of shape or weak you appear you can still kick monster ass.
  16. Superheroes still have to do homework.
  17. Violence is the best way to solve any problem.
  18. Superheroes never eat, drink, or sleep, and yet can beat the crap out of a monster and learn an important lesson within 30 minutes.
  19. Robots>Aliens
  20. Nobody can ever say the word "die" when they actually mean it.
  21. You can't have a giant fighting robot and eat it, too.
  22. Blue heads in fishtanks and small annoying robots always make the best mentors.
  23. Watching Power Rangers beyond age 13 is all about jacking off to the hot and sexy token Chinese girl and the hot and sexy cheerleader girl. If you don't cum by the end of the episode either from jacking off to the hot and sexy token Chinese girl or the hot and sexy cheerleader girl, too bad, wait until next week. Sometimes you get lucky and find an episode focused around one of these hot and sexy chicks. If you didn't make a wet spot after an episode revolving around and over-featuring the hot and sexy token Chinese girl or the hot and sexy cheerleader, or for the love of God, both, then you my friend, are gay.
  24. School bullies who are stronger than the superheroes are afraid of the Blue Man Group putties and a pig in a roman helmet that doesn't even attack, but just eats.
  25. No matter what it is, if you touch it, sparks fly out.
  26. It is illegal to perform martial arts without making ridiculous noises (e.g. "hooyah, urya, hi" etc.)
  27. It is impossible for a power ranger to move without an accompanying "whoosh" sound effect, whether fighting, waving or giving the monster a middle finger.
  28. No matter what shit goes down, be it good or bad, it will take 25-30 minutes to fix it.

Help! My Power Ranger was a Giant Eyeball![edit]

I went to Poundland the other day, and found that they had a genuine Power Ranger for sale! Overwhelmed by this amazing opportunity to buy a Power Ranger for a mere pound, I purchased it and rushed home.

But what awaited me when I tore back the packaging? Whatever it was, it didn't appear to be a power ranger. Performing a simple CO2 solution test it became clear that the test subject was in fact a giant eyeball.

Or so it seemed.

But before I jumped to conclusions, I wanted to be sure. So I asked myself the question: What is a power ranger? Well, the word 'power' seems to suggest that a true power ranger has power over things, so I decided to test this theory on the first object I happened to look at - a small rubber egg. Sitting the alleged power ranger down by the egg, I waited for him to give it a command.

After several days of waiting, I realised - maybe he was commanding it. What if, in his infinite wisdom, the power ranger had somehow found a way to communicate telepathically with the egg? It was more than likely. So I started wondering what commands the power ranger could be sending. Noticing that the egg wasn't doing anything, I came to the conclusion that the power ranger had to be sending the command, "Do nothing." And the egg was obeying unquestioningly. So the power ranger did indeed have true power over things! A kind of natural leadership, it seemed. If a rubber egg would obey him, who wouldn't?

But my task was not over yet. What of the second part of the power ranger's name? "Ranger"? This would imply a predilection for forestry and possibly also large anthropomorphic bears. So I hired a helicopter and took the power ranger to Canada, where these things abound, and waited in a forest. Before long, a large bear came up to me.

"Only you can prevent forest fires," it said.

I found this rather confusing. For a start, I didn't even have a fire extinguisher. If a forest fire were to start burning there and then, there would be very little I could do about it. Secondly, if I were the only one capable of preventing these "forest fires", then why weren't they currently raging wildly around the globe and reducing the world's forests to ashes? I can't be everywhere at once.

Judging the bear as a cheap hoax, and possible threat, I tied it up with string and left the forest. But it was only on my way back home in the helicopter, that I realised - What would have happened, had I not had my power ranger with me? Well, first of all, I wouldn't have gone to the forest in the first place. That would mean...

My eyes widened in awe as I realised it.

That bear would still be loose in the forest to tempt unsuspecting ramblers with his false charms! That mean, manipulative little creature! If it wasn't for my power ranger, he would still be at large! This power ranger had single-handedly saved the forest from the evil bear. If that didn't make him a true ranger, I don't know what would.

So I kept the power ranger, as he was truly the finest power ranger ever created. He sits on my shelf to this day, with the other power rangers, staring in front of him in in a righteous and world-loving manner, a benevolent expression on his face. The other rangers admire and respect him, despite the fact that he is a giant eyeball, and if it wasn't for him I'm sure they wouldn't know half of what they know today.