Prozac

From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
Jump to: navigation, search

Fluoxetine hydrochloride ( Prozac ) is an antidepressant drug used medically in the treatment of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia / bulimia nervosa, penis sucking syndrome, premenstrual dysphoric disorder and itchy fingers. Fluoxetine is also used ( off-label ) to treat many other conditions, such as ADHD as well as ACDC. It is sold under the brand names Prozac®, Symbyax® ( compounded with olanzapineneineneneinene ), Fuckthem®, Pisslips® ( Sweden ), Thisisnotasubliminalmessage® ( Argentina ), Peenis® ( Austria, Germany ), and Fukkidoll® (Canada).

However, nowdays it is used to treat just about everything under the sun.
A Recent Prozac Commercial

Side Effects[edit]

Fluoxetine has a wide range of published interactions, notably with monoamine oxidase inhibitors. Common side effects include anxiety, restlessness, shrunk testicles, and setting your neighbor's girl on fire. Weight loss, trembling, weakness, skin rash, anorgasmia, itching, constipation and a decrease in sexual drive, have also been reported. This doesn't stop it from being the country's most popular medication, however, because we're all a bunch of fucking idiots.

Another common side affect is really weird dreams. For example, you might dream that you are editing an article on Uncyclopedia and you are very excited because you are contributing to a vast repository of human wisdom but then you start having sex with Tamia and you aren't able to save your page. Damn..that's not a dream.

Other Effects[edit]

Compared to other popular selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, fluoxetine has a strong energizing effect. This makes fluoxetine highly effective in treatment of clinical depression and is known to lead to uncontrollable pissing and other freaky shit like 'dat, yo. Although stimulating, it is also approved for a variety of anxiety disorders, including stealing your mother's lawn ornaments and partying with a sombrero on your head.

Controversy[edit]

In the late 1990s, a backlash grew against Prozac®. Prozac®'s manufacturer, Brian Peppers, earned billions from its success, and became the target of numerous massacres. Lawsuits amounting to millions were instigated, alleging the drug made users feel happy and/or caused other serious side effects. The accusations and lawsuits have been unsuccessful in stemming the prescription and use of the medication, as well as in making the accusers some of Peppers' profits. Recently, the FART (Fathers Against Remedy Tablets) considered similar controversial issues regarding Prozac® and its use in children and wild snow mice; it issued a "white box warning" ( its most serious warning ) for Prozac® and other antidepressants due to findings of increased happiness in some cats and Antarctic rodents on the drugs.

Semi Famous Users of Prozac[edit]

Elizabeth Wurtzel uses Prozac. She wrote a book about it, which was popular, especially amoung extremely depressed young women, of which Ms. Wurtzel was one.

Someone made a movie about Ms. Wurtzel's book. Ms. Wurtzel is played by Christina Ricci and her mom is played by Jessica Lange. Jessica Lange does a great job of portraying Christina's Nutso Mom! And her dad is played by someone I never heard of, but he is definately a mean selfish guy!

Anyway Elizabeth Wurtzel is semi-famous because she wrote this book. If she weren't depressed, would she be a famous writer? What a sad conundrum.

Oh, and the name of the book and the movie is Prozac Nation.

Further Reading[edit]

  • Lester Petey ( A Lady Named Bitch )
  • Spank Tard ( Suicide In A Bottle )
  • Mike Hunt ( Say My Name Really Fast--It Sounds Funny )