Captain Picard Is Annoyed By This Article
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation starship USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D finds the content of this article most unsatisfactory indeed, even consulting with Holodeck Alicia Keys for eight hours about it. Not as distasteful, mind you, as that time he accidentally walked in on one of Guinan's holodeck programs involving three Arabian horses, a weedwhacker, and 20th century comedienne Roseanne Barr-Arnold nude in a dunk tank filled with lime Jell-O, but thoroughly unpleasant nonetheless. If you do not take immediate action to alleviate this issue, he will be forced to open fire on your vessel. Well, at least he'll be forced to command someone else to open fire on your vessel. You see, he doesn't actually press that button himself or anything, he is after all the Captain, not some lowly security officer who doesn't even merit a chair of his own on the bridge.
“You mean that omnipotent chap played by John de Lancie? I love that guy!”
Q is the most bizarre and ridiculous letter of the English Language, and serves as comic relief in the stage performances of duo Q&A. Its shape and sound are embarrassing at best and patently obscene at worst. One who is cursed with a given name beginning with this vile pernicious letter is often justifiably ridiculed for life. Quentin Tarantino, for instance, was ridiculed so badly at Kindergarten that he took to directing as an escape. However, if your name happens to consist entirely of the letter Q, you will almost certanly become an omnipotent and omniscient being who is destined for great things, such as wandering around bothering bald starship captains, or handing out cool secret agent gadgets that are then destroyed or argue with the Continuum over the qualities of Qness. Many inteligent people believe the letter "Q" or letters "QU" or letteri "QUE" can be replaced by a simple "kw" instead of creating a useless character.
Q is also an image of when the letter 'I' beats his wife 'O'. This can be shown as I stabbing O.
Fortunately, Q is almost always buffered from contact with other letters by U, a little-used vowel of ill repute. This is a sure sign that the letter Q is a useless, co-dependent letter that is utterly incapable of doing anything on its own.
The extremely rare "naked Q" ( that is, without its protective U ) is the ultimate lexigraphical abomination, and is for the most part limited to foreign pagan languages, and names of weird unchristian countries, like Qatar which no Godfearing red-blooded patriotic American would be caught dead in.
Q is thought, by some people, to be a deformed relative of O. Others believe, for obvious reasons, that O is female and Q is male. Most people, however, believe that these people are either idiots or Time lords, and should be burned at the stake while being forced to eat their own guts.
Q is the reason for the Bush Administration entering Iraq, as it is the connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda.
The Roots of the letter Q
The roots of Q stem an early begining from the Arabiq letter, Qfuck ( During the first Gulf War ).
Q is the international symbol for the fucking hand gesture. Make a ring out of the index finger and thumb of the right hand, poke through that ring with the index finger of the left hand, mouth the phrase "fuck me" to your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/brother/sister/doctor/priest/goat/octopus.
There are simple recipies for a fine tasting Q or the non alcaholic kid-safe "q"
- .A simple letter l. If no l is availible, use an I, 1,/ or\. ( use slash for kid safe )
- ."git un' uh dem cir"Q"lar thingies" An O ( 0 or o can also be used )
First cut your 1st ingredient in half. And stab it through your "cirQlar thingy" but it in a bottle and chose: Shaken or stirred, or baked into a piecake eggpie. Note: must be served in a "Qtini glass"
Uses of the Letter "Q"
- Q card
- Stage Q
- Waiting in the Q
- Quack ( duck )
- Qboonnnyuu ( bunny )
- Fuck Q
- I'll Q you
- Z4QQQ ( the batman symbol )
The Q Wars
Recently, Q had been under heavy fire by the villanous R Empire. They, of course, have the upper hand, since they own the territory of U Topia. The reason for the war? x. EVERYONE loves X. R got SO jealous of Qs relationship with X, they started a war. Some say that Y and Z are close with X, and have been known to form a kick-ass dragon in the popular show Yu-Gi-Oh.
Alternate Universes starting with letter Q
There are several popular alternate universes that begin with the letter Q, such as Q-547 which is the universe which many comic book writers use to escape the fallacy known as "continuity" and the little known Q-36, which is strangely the only alternate universe in which Wikipedia is actually 100% accurate, the closest any other alternate universe has come to this was N-59 in which all of Wikipedia is accurate except for a small nonsensical entry on string cheese, thus invalidating the entire database.