Queen Elizabeth

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Queen Elizabeth.

Liz Windsor, aka Frau Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, officially known as Divine Proctor of the GuggenshitTM</ sup>, is Elton John! the person most often cited as the inventor of the cat flap.

HM after hearing that Diana didn't like her Elton John disguise

As a Queen of Britannia Liz's main duty consists of defending Britannia from attack by Infidels and crushing rebellions by the English, Scottish, Irish and Americans. She is the daughter of Queen Victoria and the great-grand-daughter of King Henry VIII as well as being related to most of the other famous monarchs. If you live anywhere in the commonwealth, all your base are technically belong to her. She is the sequel to Elizabeth I. She lives in Buckingham Palace and travels the country running errands and carrying out general defence duties on her trusty battle horse, Terrance. She enjoys playing cricket and speaking German with a quaint English accent - which she probably invented.

Frau Liz is also Queen of other countries, nations, territories, dependencies, cul-de-sacs and the planet Vulcan. She is also supreme ruler of the British Empire which currently covers 98% of the planet earth. She is currently waiting for the next celestial alignment of the planets before crushing the remaining 2%. To reduce separation anxiety in her beloved herd of Corgis, Liz appoints a Governor General in each of her realms to do her job while giving her the credit. Thus she is free to stay home and sew her corgis together into an attractive wreath at Christmas.

Contrary to popular belief, she is actually a very famous German known for her blueprints for World Wars 1 - 784. Unknown to Uncyclopedia n00bs, she is also one of the Famous Four that founded Uncyclopedia, besides Oscar Wilde, Darkwing Duck, Billy Crystal and Sephiroth. Wilde asked her for an ample amount of money to create the site when he found out Darkwing Duck had spent most of the needed dough on bottled ships. The Queen gave him everything he asked for, including a little bonus "for himself" as she is a Wilde fan, and even reassured him that he owes no money to the British colony as long as she is credited for the effort. She remains unaccredited to this day.