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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Republican.

The US Republican Party, also known affectionately as the God & Oil Party (GOP) is a division of Halliburton and a subsidiary of the Federalist Society, formerly known as the Federal Government of the United States. Its main function is to boost the sales of Israeli flag lapel pins and magnets. As of 2007, despite receiving a good ol' Texas 'thumpin' it is one of the largest misanthropic organizations in the world. Well known for its Ultra-Orthodox Jewish-Leninist practice of democratic centrism, in which no party member is allowed to disagree with the central organization. In fact I knew a guy who tried to disagree once. They later found his dead body floating in the Potomac River. His corpse displayed signs of torture and wild violation. This causes Republicans great stress and results in bi-weekly mass Republican orgies in Washington, DC.