Roger Waters

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Roger Waters.
Waters toking a joint in public.


Roger that!

~ Oscar Wilde on Roger Waters

Ooooh Babe, don't leave me now!

~ Roger Waters on Babe

What shall we do with all these empty spaces?..

~ Roger Waters on Antarctica

The lunatic is in my house...

~ Roger Waters on himself in the mirror

You better run! You better run like hell!

~ Roger Waters on his wireless internet connection

Welcome my son, welcome to the Machine!

~ Roger Waters on peyote after seeing "Terminator 3"

Is there Anybody out there?

~ Roger Waters on Anybody

Big man! Pig man! Ha-ha

~ Roger Waters on Nikita Khrutschev

Hey You...

~ Roger Waters on You

V.E.R.A., V.E.R.A., what has become of you?

~ Roger Waters on Virtual Entity of Relevant Acronyms


Roger 'Mother Do You Think They'll Build The Wall' Waters ( born October 1st 1939 in Bermuda ) is a powerful supernatural being existing by ( and oddly related to ) the means of a series of human conflicts risen since World War II throughout the nations. He has been known to use his psychodaelicoticonaesitic powers to rotate the Moon 180 degrees (and thus to show its "dark side" ), make diamonds shine in the sky, turn people into all sorts of animals, construct and tear down walls from nowhere all of a sudden and, most of all, drive people crazy over the rainbow at the window. Roger can be compared to God on some occasions, though that fact would be erraneous - he is more of a poltergeist phenomenon.

( Pre 1965 ) Early years[edit]

Georgie grew up in Cambridge. Although his father, Eric Fletcher Waters, had been a Communist, an ardent pacifist, (Roger would not follow in his fathers footsteps and became a facist dicator) and generally a mambsy pambsy fu-for-all, he had fought in World War II and died in action at a hofbrau in Düsseldorf Germany in 1944 when Roger was only a year old. Waters would often share that he was buttsore about the loss of his father throughout his work, especially on The Great Wall and The Final Crappy ( but not as crappy as The Division Bell ) Cut. His father's death is detailed in the song "When The Germans Found Out He Was a Man". However, he has said that the mother character from the former album was nothing like his own cross dressing, whiskey drinking whore-of-a-mother. He gained his uncannny ability to smoke and play base guitar simultationusly during a one night S&M threesome with Margaret Thatcher and Mary Whitehouse. Distrust of authority, particularly government, and educational authority is a recurring theme in Reg’s writing. This theme is clearly expressed in "When The Germans Found Out He Was a Man" as Waters expresses what he felt was a hollow and patronizing response to his father's sacrifice at Düsseldorf. He attended the same school as Syd “Brylcreem” Barrett and David “Hotpants” Gilmour and met Nicky Mason and Richard Righton while attending the Regent Street Polytechno school of Autechre. He was a keen sportsman and was fond of killing foxes and swimming in his own feces at the River Cam at Grantchester Meadows.


( 1965 - 1985 ) The Rubber Band years[edit]

In 1965, Roger Waters was a founding member of Pink Floyd, with then lead singer, guitarist, and principal songwriter Syd “Brylcreem” Barrett, as well as Richard Righton and Nicky Mason. Although Barrett initially did most of the songwriting for the band, Roger did compose "Take Up Thy Keyboard and Walk" a chilling premonition of the sexual tension between himself and Richard Righton that would end in Roger kicking the keyboard player Righton out of the band in 1985. Their 1967 debut LP, Sgt Pepper at the Gates of Dawn was a critical success and positioned the band to "sell out" to The Man.

In 1968, Syd Barrett's erotic behavior with little boys and rubber chickens on stage and deteriorating mental health led to his eventual departure from the band. There was plenty of water cooler talk around London that without the talented chicken loving lead singer and songwriter, the band would not be able to sustain its initial success with the under 16 demographic. To fill the void in his soul, Waters began to take complete and total control of the band's artistic direction. Along with his live-in lover, guitarist, and sexy singer David Gilmour, who had joined the band to add to, and later replace the chubby Barrett, Waters brought Pink Floyd back into the proper ( stoner and loner ) sales demographic, producing a series of albums in the 1970s that remain among the most critically acclaimed and best-selling records of all time. Then he got rather emo, whinged a lot about some old bat sending troops to a couple of rocks, and got kicked out.

The Wall Live in Berlin[edit]

In June 1990, the communist states of Eastern Europe were thrown into turmoil when Waters played a concert in West Berlin in front of the Berlin Wall, for years a symbol of conflict and division between East and West. Tens of thousands of East Berliners turned up in the Potsdamer Platz to watch Waters and a host of fellow music-industry superstars, backed up by the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, perform a specially commissioned opera called "The Wall".

The show culminated with the entire band and orchestra smashing through the Berlin Wall with their musical instruments, finally liberating the whole of Eastern Europe from half a century of oppression.

As the newly-freed oppressed masses of East Berlin swarmed through to greet their long-lost West Berliner comrades, they were shocked to discover that the Berlin Wall was actually made of white polystyrene bricks. They quickly realized that the Berlin Wall was a complete hoax and had been built by Waters in 1961 to give him an excuse to perform a self-pitying, over-indulgent rock opera, AND portray himself as a "liberator of oppression".

The people of East Berlin went into uproar, as scores of people had been shot or blown up over the years while trying to climb over the wall or dig tunnels beneath it, when all they'd have needed was a Stanley knife. The crowd demanded that Waters give them their money back, a request which he turned down. However, he did agree to give them pieces of the polystyrene wall to stick on their mantelpieces as a memento.

The contruction of the Waters' nose[edit]

Since he was a wee lad, Roger dreamed of a massive nose, where he can hide things, and keeps things. Especially his collection of basses and kitty huffing equipment (mainly kitties) From 1034 to 1066 the nose construction went badly, unfortunately his cohen collapsed due ot unfortunately poor structural design. The Edge was in charge of the project at the time and was unfortunately kicked off because of his retardedness... It took 4576 years to complete the Nose and now what wew say today is the years of hard labour, 356436.6546 midgets died during the construction.

Is also speculated that Waters' nose was created after one of the first takes of "Careful with That Axe, Eugene".

Darkside of the Moon Tour 2006[edit]

Roger Waters chewing on a lemon while playing guitar to stay awake during the show.

Probably the most amazing concert experience since the Floyd itself in the seventies, possibly better in several ways because of Roger's incredible amount of Track 6 (or 5) on Darkside of the Moon which allowed him to create incredible special effects, posess an amazing sound system, hire a top-notch band and make everyone tripping on psychedelics in the audience splooge, shit, and all-around explode in their fuckin' pants.

At the concerts, people both young and old were stoned/frying/drunk off their fucking asses, so the pure genius of the experience would be appreciated a bit more/appreciated more than explainable with words/completely missed and drowned out by idiotic, drunken screaming of innaccurate lyrics.

A beautiful thing, though, to see a fifty year old man and a fifteen year old kid wearing the same shirt and sharing the same joint.

In conclusion, Roger Waters created the ultimate experience for everyone and created THE ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate experience for everyone on mind-expanding drugs.

Of course, a bunch of nit-picky, douchebag republi-tards were offended by his opinions and the undeniable and wondrous smell of reefer which filled the arena, so they left to rape little boys while pointing out the horrors of gay marriage. All of them did. And what they did, was rape little boys while poitning out the horrors of gay marriage.

And Roger Waters saw it, and it was good.


....not necessarily the little boys being raped, but its also possible that he found that good as well.

See Also[edit]