Ronald McDonald

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ronald McDonald.
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McDonald is not just renowned for his worldwide rapping status. He is now in fact the head of the 'McDonald's' corporation. In November 1996, a failing businessman by the name Ray Karoc approached the rapper after hearing of his triple-platinum success. He did not know the reason why his fast food joint, Salmonella, was sub ceding but believed a new face like Ronald Macdonald's would improve it. After months of being stalked and receiving hate mail, McDonald gave in to Karoc and signed a $10 million contract that would almost overshadow his rap career.

Together, McDonald and Karoc created the world's top food corporation, knocking KFC from the long held position. The mixture of addictively crap food and a clown rapper was just too irresistible to America and children of the world. With this initial success, McDonald decided send the other members of his rap group Mc Unit to countries around the world and spread the chain's grasps. Big P tripled the yearly gross; Miss Birdie Fly proved a hit in 5 countries; Kid Fiddler however did not seem to have any appeal.

With his change in appearance, McDonald became obsessed with his fast food chain. He fired Karoc and entitled himself, 'de Furher' of McDonald's. Seeing that he was the biggest success with children, he began to invite them to his McRanch, calling them the McKiddes. No one was to know what went on in his ranch until 2005. He also added supersize option to every meal, but had to cut down the size after the disastrous 'Supersize Wee' documentary. The kids remained untouched though.