The Rubik's Cube is the Dark Lord/King of Liechtenstein ( pop: approx 5 ppl. size: same as my bathtub ). His Lordship Rubik's is in fact behind many of the disastrous political events in recent years, though, being a master of disguise, nobody has ever noticed. After all, who would ever suspect a cube that appears to be irreparably jumbled.
Disasterous Political Events His Lordship Rubiks has Caused
- The War on Terror
- World Poverty
- Oprah Winfrey
- George W. Bush
- The French Language
- The Canadian Military
- The colour pink
- The wrongful belief that 16 comes between 15 and 17
- The National Mathematics Summer School
- Kevin and Jenny
- Konrad and Emma
- The destruction of the Lost Fried Chicken of KFC
- The false belief that Muslims are better than Judaism, the greatest religion ever
Everything else that is also evil. Including Netball.
In 1980, His Lordship Rubiks assumed the throne after consuming the entire previous royal family ( the Spork ). Worried that his rule may be taken from him by some larger country that needs room for one more bathtub, Rubiks cloned himself many times over and sent these clones out into the world, where there was soon seldom a house to be found in which one of these clones had not infiltrated. Using subliminal messaging and the Force, these clones soon took control of every great mind ( as well as the minds of politicians ), and within the next decade His Lordship Rubiks was able to control every great world power. Hence, due to this, Liechtenstein is the only country not to have its own military, on account of its controlling every other military power in the universe.
The main reason why nobody has realised the awful influence that the Rubiks Cube clones have had upon them is that they are too busy trying to solve the cube that they do not realise that it is in actual fact unsolvable, and designed in such a way as to distract people from the evil intentions of these Rubiks Cube clones.
Recently there was a man in South Korea that could do the rubiks cube in 3 hours and 52 minutes. He says that he is very proud of himself and will try to do it in less than 3 hours - adding, however, that such rapid intercourse with such an awkwardly-shaped object may result in lasting pelvic injuries to both parties. But the most impressive Rubiks story involved a North Korean who claims to be able to solve a Rubiks cube before he hits 40, this was quite an achievement bearing in mind that North Korea only discovered the Rubiks cube some time last year.
In India there have been several Rubiks competitions to determine who should be the national champion, the man who eventually won the series of competitions managed to do it all behind his back, he was however disqualified after officials found out that he was performing some kind of black magic on the cube, therefore clearly breaking the rules.