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RuneScape ( or RunEscape ) is an online game launched by Jagex Industries. The game was originally meant to exist for smuggling Oscar Wilde quotes across the borders of the Internet. It achieved moderate success until the invention and utilization of Wikipedia, which essentially put RuneScape out of business. Desperate for cash, the creators turned it into an online game, and after several attempts, released it to the public in a form they would understand. The game was a smash hit, gaining enough prestige to earn its very own Wikipedia article.

RuneScape is also a parody of the ever popular game PruneScape.


For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about RuneScape.

RuneScape is an MMORPG comparable to other games such as Guild Wars, World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XI. There are currently over nine million registered accounts, with about sixty-three or so of those currently active. ( During peak hours, almost 8 or 9 people have been known to log on at once, making it the most popular online Java the Hutt game ever. ) The game acts as an alternative for social interaction for the nerds and twelve year olds who play it.

RuneScape is based around running around, killing stuff, and eating it. The main goal of every single player on the game is to become the "phattest" player. The game is based around collecting party hats, otherwise known as "phats"; hence the "phatness" goal. The player who gets the "phattest" ( collects the most phats ) is the winner. Together, this suggests that all of the people who play RuneScape either eat at McDonald's or have an eating disorder.

Versions of RuneScape[edit]

Choose-Your-Own RuneScape Adventure[edit]

The table of table of contents. Told you it was huge.

Back when RuneScape was first being developed, Jagex didn't know what kind of game RuneScape was going to be, so they turned to 3-year-olds for help. The first kid they asked said he liked choose-your-own adventure books, and that was good enough for them! The book, originally called Choose-Your-Own RuneScape Adventure, gave players every single choice that would later be available in the online version. But since it was in book form, that meant that every single tile, every single action, every single little detailed possibility was accounted for.

And that meant that the book was frigging HUGE.

Seriously, here's an excerpt from the book:

Page 1
You have finally loaded RuneScape after half an hour of loading. Which class do you wish to play as?
To play as a miner, go to page 2.
To play as an adventurer, go to page 34289.
To play as a ranger, go to page 623423.
To play as a wizard, go to page 142794.
To play as a warrior, go to page 1659084.


Page 2
You are a miner. What do you wish to do?
To go north one tile, go to page 78.
To go south one tile, go to page 90234.
To go east one tile, go to page 425463.
To go west one tile, go to page 6.
To equip your pickaxe, go to page 31,758,431,759,431.
To beg to a random person, go to page 2360.


Page 3
Elvarg has hit you for 24 damage. You have 1 hit point left. What do you wish to do?
To curse yourself for not bringing any items, go to page 5 while cursing.
To die, go to page 1.
To PM I scream D I to come and save you, go to page 77756
To see the surprise ending, go to page 1337.


Page 1337
Elvarg was a hax0rer. You lost all your items. What do you wish to do?
To whine in the forums, go to page 10
To see if he stole your Axe of Flaming Death, go to page 3,254,121,726
To see if he stole your Pickaxe, go to page 1226
To stop playing and get a life, go to page 0

Page 124794
You are a wizard with no runes or money what do you do?
To rob the bank go to page 7
To beg 4 9,999,999mil go to page 8
If you want to switch to a Warroior go to page 1658084

Page 16559084
You are a warroir with Full rune AND 99 ALL STATS  WHAT DO YOU DO?
To Give your food away to noobs  go to page 1974
To kill Zezima go to page 92254
To do your first quest o go to page 95664846754

Last Page
                          THE END FOREVER ( this game is stupid i know )


A RuneScaper demonstrating the use of the scissors form.

Because RuneScape revolves around battle, a significant amount of in-game resources are devoted to combat. All combat-related actions can be categorized into three "combat types". These three types of combat form a combat triangle, where each type of combat is advantageous over one of the others, but is weak against the third. The three types are called scissors, rock, and paper.

Scissors refers to the use of hand-to-hand weapons. Users of the Scissors form can whack monsters, other players, or whatever else with enormous chunks of metal shaped vaguely like weapons. It is named after the most powerful weapon in the game, the abyssal scissors, which is so powerful that it can cut through any type of paper known to man, including the sticky part of Post-It notes. Scissors always beat rock, but is pwnt by paper.

Rock refers to ranged weapons. Basically, rocks are projectiles that can be thrown at enemies. A major advantage to rocks is that players can hurl them at opponents and monsters from across tables and fences, and the target won't be smart enough to move around to the other side. Sadly, these enemies are still smarter than half the RuneScape population. Rock destroys paper, but is no match for scissors.

Paper is slang for scrolls, which have magic spells on them. Nobody knows why magic is called paper, seeing as how magic isn't read from scrolls on RuneScape, but there you go. Paper users are often considered the strongest, since if they run out of runes to power their spells, they can use the paper to give their opponent a nasty paper cut. Paper always beats scissors, but can't stand up to the pure muscle of rock. Some players also insist that the King's Reward scroll, which rewards you with a great number of gold coins ( 600gp ), makes quite the rolling paper. Collect many King's brand rolling papers and you could make a small fortune!


The game known as RuneScape Classic, an older version of RuneScape.

According to polls collected on the world's ultimate website, RuneScape boasts an incredible graphics engine, soaring ahead of such engines as Source, Doom III, and real life by a longshot. The excellently rendered static pixels, the state-of-the-art distance fog ( a calm and relaxing black haze instead of a depressing white haze ), the awe-inspiring 3D graphics... all of this has sharp written all over it. Sharp enough, in fact, to give players a brain hemorrhage ( or at least cause optical bleeding or, in extreme cases, SEHS ) if taken in for too long.

Owing to the immense success of the RuneScape graphics engine, Jagex's graphical artists have clealry spent hours rendering the textures used throughout the game, and decided that in this case, simplicity is superiority. RuneScape players will never see any image containing more than four colors of pixels, because anything more might fry the servers.

Language Filter[edit]

The RuneScape language filter ranks among the most sound and stable language filters available in online gaming. It is capable of censoring out just about any profanity detected in the game dialogue by replacing obscene words with asterisks, thereby protecting the innocence of the twelve-year-olds who play the game. "Crud", "lol", "help", "Darn", "Ovaries", "Newbie", and "Goatse" are among the most commonly encountered expletives found within the game.

Below is a sample of a RuneScape dialogue exchange, demonstrating the ruggedness of the language filter.

ed_22 says: "Hi" 
uber1 says: "He**o *d_22"
ed_22 says: "Coo* axe u*er1, can * buy?"
uber1 says: "Sure"
ed_22 says: "Ho* ***h?"
uber1 says: "W*a*?"
ed_22 says: "Cost?"
uber1 says: "Oh, 1**"
ed_22 says: "How ****?"
uber1 says: "W*** a** *** saying*"
ed_22 says: "*** **** **** it *****"
uber1 says: "* **** ***"
ed_22 says: "************************"
system message: ed_22 has been permanently banned and muted for using profanities
uber1 says: "bitch"

See Also[edit]

hmmmmm.......whats all this then