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Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Sapplefeed.

The great Scottish philosopher - singer - songwriter known as Alicia Keys invented Sapplefeed to cure world hunger. Sapplefeed is a genetically modified Apple that is ten feet tall and is covered with tiny hairs called Creams. Sapplefeed can be grown anywhere out of anything. You do not need Sapplefeed seeds to make Sapplefeed just Dirt and the hoof of a baby horse. Water daily, then eat.

Sapplefeed is the predominant export of the Canadian province of Newfoundland.

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