Sarah Palin

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sarah Palin.

Sarah Michael Palin is a celebrity hooker and Tea Party spokesmodel exclusive only to John McCain's black cock. She was born February 30, 1968 in Alaska and now lives on television. Serving alongside her half-wit husband, Todd, she was the half-ass governor of the "Alaskan Polar Bear Liaison", and because of this was the 2008 Republican Party nominee for the office of Vice President of the United States. As the author of a ghostwritten book and over eighty tweets she is regarded by conservative Republicans as an intellectual colossus.

Sarah is such an experienced and well qualified politician that she has been compared to Winston Churchill and Charles DeGaulle. Unfavorably. Republicans across America were confused, "Who are these people!?" they said.

Sarah is best known for sticking a pineapple up her vagina and processing it into neat, edible chunks. Palin's muff is noteworthy for the fact that it has a four star restaurant attached to the side of it, which Gordon Brown thought was a six.