School

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He listened to Tamia music on his iPod during class
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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about School.

School, as well as a shorter alternative to the phrase, "Worst Years of your Life", is a system created by the American government to brainwash children and destroy all creativity so that no one would question what they are doing while making as much money as possible out of the "schooled" people by making them mindless consumerist slaves. Since its establishment, it has succeeded in slowing civilization down to at least 7 bajillion years but on later realization found that the School system may have doomed us all as the calculations continue to increase by massive amounts every single second. School comes in four stages: elementary school, middle school, high school (pun intended), and sometimes college. Their uses are, respectively, Liberal brainwashing, storing kids until they develop an interest in reading literature, good house keeping, home economics, drugs, drug dealing, and finally extracting as much money from victims as possible. However, it usually doesn't work because all money has been spent on drugs in high school before it can be extracted in college. Despite obviously not working, the general public is confident that it shouldn't be fixed because "It's Just the Way it is".