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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sirv.


Sirv is the successor to the X Window System. It contains obscurity security enhancments such as:

  • Being able to register GuEST, GUEst, GueST, or any other capitalised letter combination other than Guest or guest. But this is a feature, not a bug.
  • You can go onto the network as "BoBBIE" one day and register your nickname, and then come back another day as "bobbie", and register it again - and they're two seperate registrations. But once again, this is a feature, not a bug.
  • The ability to make the Baby Jesus cry. Feature.

New textual User Interface![edit]

Sirv replaces the old decrepit GUI system of X Windows, with a new IRC-based commandline interface. It contains:

  • NickServ, which is a replacement to the old xauth command.
  • ChanServ, which is a replacement for wall(1).
  • OperServ, which is closest to the GNOME control centre.
  • MemoServ, which is basically like editing /etc/motd.

It contains other components, but they are too cool to document here! Plus, they are protected by rot-31337.

Authentication Database (lets make xauth jealous)[edit]

Sirv uses MySQL-based storage for it's data. MySQL is a secret weapon invented by the Jews who lived in Nazi Germany at the time of the Holocaust. It was invented for Hitler to better organize information about the French people he had in his camps. This stuff is very efficient, ok?!

Sirv's catchphrases[edit]

Sirv has been around since the beginning of time. To Christians, this is around the year 33, when the best jew got killed. Some believe that the Romans were developing Sirv, and Jesus and his team of miscreants - which of these included Jesus of Suburbia, Black Jesus, and the latino Jesús for racial diversity - were deloping a better services package. The movie Antitrust is based on this real-life tale. After the Romans killed off Jesus and his team, a few catchphrases came out:

  • You deserve to Sirv.
  • You got Sirved.
  • Are we Sirving it up yet?
  • We are Sirving, how about you?!
  • Sirv: Because some people should serve as a great warning to others.
  • In Soviet Russia, Sirv serves you!
  • We live to 'Sirv.
  • We apologise for the lack of Sirvice, sirv crashed.

Sirv Security[edit]

Sirv does not require security on it's accounts, instead this is up to the end user to implement.

Sirv Followers[edit]

Sirv has many followers, the most common types being: