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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Skin.

Skin is an extremely dangerous organism, it is constantly expanding its evil grasp and as of writing it has consumed every single human being.

What Is Skin?[edit]

Skin was one of the first lifeforms to appear in the universe, between the Old Dark Ones and the Not As Old But Still Pretty Old Dark Ones. Skin had many evolutionary strengths, including the ability to store fat as insulation, and the ability to produce beads of persperation that glisten seductively in the evening sun. But skin possessed one weakness, the inability to move around of its own accord, during the First Annual Skin Conference On Dermal Affairs Relating To Skin And Skin's Interests (ASC DARTSASI), this problem was overcome.

ASC DARTSASI I And It's Consequences[edit]

ASC DARTSASI I was held on the Skin Homeworld, Dermulon Prime. It was held by the Skin Overlord Dartsasi I in his Palace of Evil.

After 300 hours of conferring, Skin released it's plan to parasitically attach itself to every animal in the universe. Originally, the animals greeted this proposal as it meant that their internal organs would no longer fall out and cause a big mess.

However, millions of years later this position of power has become abused, being a host for Skin is no longer voluntary. Many children are born with Skin without their parent's prior permission.

Many believe that Skin is manipulating this position to impose on human history.

Skin Within History[edit]

Throughout ancient times many societies worshipped Skin, and waged war on their neighbours to enforce the cult of skin.

Events that Skin is thought to be directly responsible for:

  • European slave-trading.
  • Drugs.
  • The Zulu Wars.
  • The French Revolution.
  • The American Civil War.
  • Nazism.
  • All Indo-Pakistani Conflicts to date.
  • Apartheid in South Africa.
  • The election of George W. Bush.
Artist's impression of the Earth after Skin has had it's way with it.

Why Skin Must Be Stopped[edit]

Unless humanity shows Skin that we are not it's bitch, the evil fiend will continue to expand its Evil Empire until everyone is totally enslaved.

Resisting Skin is simple, and there are many ways to do it. Such as, getting a tattoo, body piercing, extensive tanning and cutting yourself. So think of future generations and be mean to your Skin.