Smurfs

From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Smurfs.

Smurfs (scientific name: Small Men Under Red Father) are an endangered commie species of blue-skinned midgets who were deported from Middle Earth for their questionable mating habits and annoying permanently happy personalities. Cast out, the Smurfs moved to Belgium under the leadership of P. Diddy Smurf (a.k.a. Puffing Billy Smurf Sean Coombs) where they lived in broken down caravans before being rehoused in a 'mushroom themed' based estate. The greatest mystery of the smurf is how there are all these guy smurfs (Little Boy Smurf, Einstein, Paula Dean Smurf, Redneck Smurf, Gimme, Grumpy, Handywithmyhands, Harmonyisajoke, HEFTYHEFTYHEFTY, Jokey, Lazyass Smurf, Papa Smurf, Emo Smurf, and Ken Smurf) managed to remain happy when there was only one female smurf Lily Allen (a.k.a 'The Smugfit Smurfette') to service their smutty smurfy habits. The solution was that the Smurfs established a sex rota whilst they advertised for single (and not too discerning) pixies on the internet. It is at this stage that P. Diddy Smurf was turned into a pillar of cocaine by the wizard Gargamurf who resented 'these 'orrible little blue twats' running about on his carrot patch. Snorting up the residue of their departed leader - the other Smurfs played a disgusting game of 'pin the willy on the donkey' - and got Papa Smurf as their new Smurf Supremo.