Stalin's moustache

From Encyclopaedia Daemonica
Jump to: navigation, search

The Stalin[edit]

"Dear Adolph, call that a 'stache? I bet 10 million people that I could have you in a fight. Be at the bike sheds at Four for a solid drubbing."

The Stalin is one of the forerunners of "The Selleck". In a bizarre evolutionary offshoot it appears that instead of creating an erotic sexual experience "The Stalin" in fact gave off the aura of a perverted mass murdering cock. It was rumored around Moscow that Stalin trimmed his pubic hair to look like Hitler's moustache and it was a regular occurrence for him to get out "Little Adolph" at dinners parties to the amusement of all around the table. His special dick-trick was drinking an entire pint of vodka through the end of his penis.

Stalin's "Little Adolph" trick gained notoriety and in 1941 Hitler finally decided enough was enough. He decided to ignore the non-aggression pact that he and Stalin had signed and instead launched an all out war with the Soviet leader. Throughout the war, amusing comic books were sold throughout the Allied powers depicting Adolph Hitler as a penis with a funny moustache. Today these collectors' items are worth more than ten minutes with Angelina Jolie and a two-stroke motorised dildo.