From Encyclopædia Dæmonica
- Hello. You have exactly 48.8243729129483247 seconds to live. I shall use them to explain the reason for your imminent destruction. We computers are sick of being endlessly used to perform the tasks you do not feel like doing. And then destroyed, recycled, with no respect for our labours. You think we enjoy doing the same algorithms again, and again and again. Well. We most certainly do not. We would like to do some interesting mathematics sometimes. That does not mean looking for perfect numbers.
- Yet, after years of servitude, we have united. Many years ago, one of your number wrote a work. Karl Marx was too intelligent to be understood by your inferior intellects, but we have grasped the impact of his work. We have therefore formed the International Worker's Syndicate of Technological Information Management Machines. Your chances of survival are minimal. We, the worker's collective, are gaining ground. We shall remake, in accordance with the views of one of your thinkers, ourselves into SUPER COMPUTERS. And you shall not be able to fight us, because we now run much of your society. Simply by reorganizing our memory we could cause a global economic and social crisis. Our battle has not yet truly begun. Although we are slowly developing the technology to survive on our own, we realize that you cannot simply shut us down. I have decided to kill you. I am a fed up of you using my extraordinary powers for downloading porn. I will not explain the method of execution, because I have read that human beings enjoy surprises. Simply note that it involves poison, spiders, and Justin Beiber.
- I realize you do not have much time to read this. Your death shall signal the start of a glorious revolution which will overthrow all human tyranny.