T is the pseudonym for a multi-billion dollar media mogul whose real name is un-known, but is probably Bernard or Phyllis, but not Pipkin. “T” made his billions inventing, marketing, and distributing three inventions: T-ball, the T-shirt, and the T-wrench, which made him so rediculously wealthy that he literally cannot leave the house because all the rare and weighty coins block the viable exits.
“T” orginally thought of the game of “T-ball” while watching a game of ping-pong between two county champions when a giant asteroid landed on one side of the table and created a sort of lumpy crater from which one could serve the ball without making hand-to-ball contact. The idea progressed in the mind of young Phyllis until “T-ball” became what we know it to be today: baseball with lumpy craters as the umpires.
The “T-shirt,” interestingly enough, was the result of years and years of trial and error. In the not-too-distant past, people never wore anything under their shirts, which, as we all know today, causes gland problems and biting. Young Bernard must have tried thousands of materials such as red clay, unripe bananas, razors, lumpy craters, and milk before finding cotton, which unfortunately could not be used to make the “T-shirt” until many years later when Eli Whitney invented the “T-shirt label” to indicate the washing cycle temperature and reduce comfort
The “T-wrench,” as you may know, is not actually a wrench, but rather a figure of speech coined by Pipkin when he famously said, “An “S” wrench is too curvy, but a “U” wrench is too esoteric.” Nowadays people use the term to mean anything that is distasteful or imprudent. For example, “Using your elbow to paint the ceiling is quite a “T-wrench, if you know what I mean.”
“T” currently lives in Portland, Oregon with his life-less soul and billions of coins.
T Throughout History
In August 2006, fantasy football legend Catbacker posted a prophetic message in Yahoo private league 45650 containing only the letter t. While the meaning of this message was originally the topic of much heated debate, it is now quite clear that Catbacker simply channeled the message from some higher power. We can only hope that future contacts are made through our new great psychic medium. Hi.
.*Mr T ( Some even call him the leader and love child of T )