That Guy

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No it's not This Guy, but from a distance on horseback it could be? Perhaps, in a light mist...No?... Nah it must be Big Kev

Just like me, but in reverse and with a mustache. What a waste!

~ This Guy on That Guy

I could've sworn I shot That Guy!

~ Dick Cheney on That Guy

I didn't make That Guy!

~ God on That Guy

That Guy's a dick.

~ This Guy on That Guy

Everyone talks about me, but no one truly knows me.

~ That Guy on That Guy

That Guy is a douchebag.

~ George W. Bush on That Guy and Irony

Don't be That Guy!

~ Jews on Adolf Hitler

Thought to be a relative of This Guy, That Guy attempted unsuccessfully to follow in the footsteps of his famous ancestor. After decades of standing on city street corners showing off his uniquely Tudorian kitten huffing abilities to the masses, he finally realized it wasn't making him any money or getting him hot babes.

He also unsuccessfully tried to invent Puppy-huffing, which not only doesn't work but leaves you with the guilt of just having huffed a poor, cute, innocent puppy...unlike the malevolent kittens, which everyone knows are up to no good.

Public Life[edit]

A brief career in bootlicking led to Fifteen minutes of fame for That Guy, as he found a way to lick the most boots ( 666 ones, to be exact. ) ever licked in a seven minute span of time ( It usually takes 15 minutes to do'rê same amount as he did ). Unfortunately, very few people cared about this, so That Guy fell back into the dustbin of history with the banana peels and discarded condom wrappers also in there.

He's well known for letting free thousands of brickrock during the brick-rock genocide. And is a hero in brickrock society and culture.

His catchphrase "By Eck!!!" was popular throughout the 1930s, and remains so in parts of Lancashire, particularly in Wigan, St Helens and Texas, to this day.

That Guy was also CEO for Planet Express-delivery company for brief period, until he was replaced by an aging professor.

That Guy was the Pope for 36 minutes 45 seconds before it was discovered he was Jewish.

If you play That Guy and Dark Side Of The Moon by Pink Floyd at the same time, it all syncs up.

That Guy founded Animal Fucking Day.

He's also a relative of That Gay, his queer cousin.

"Private" Life[edit]

For the last forty years he has been aimlessly roaming the countryside, living off of the berries found on certain bushes most common in Yorkshire, and acting perverse when he so desires.

When not involved in kitten/puppy huffing, That guy also enjoys antique shopping, ultimate frisbee, and long, romantic walks on the beach. ( Which is also the reason he's not believed to exist. )

He also is the only known man ever to live who can handle the taste of brickrock without getting the runs.

Recently, That Guy was seen on the New Zealand Tee-Vee show, TBA Sportscafè. He was last seen behind the wheel of a Hyundai driving through a fridge.

That guy used to enjoy wrestling alligators, but after the Steve Urwin incident, took up a new hobby: wrestling dust bunnies.

Death's Threats's[edit]

Steve Ballmer buries That Guy

Steve Ballmer threatened to kill That Guy in 2005, in a profanity-laced tirade that has been reproduced so many times that it is hardly necessary to repeat it here. Needless to say, That Guy has stepped up security measures in the wake of this death threat by installing automatic motion-detecting minigun turret's on his porch. He was that guy in Fight Club who was all like "His name is Robert Paulson".

Conspiracy Theory[edit]

  • Many reputable sources, most notably Yoda, believe That Guy was a part of the Pope Sevunus fiasco. Some sources claim That Guy is also involved in a new-fangled attempt at puppy huffing, but said sources are not 100% reliable.

Rumored to have joined the SS Expedition to Tibet in the 1930's as a naturalist. However, this was just a cover for his ambition to huff a Tibetan snow leopard.

Kitty huffing, he was.-Yoda the Jedi.

  • Other even more reputable sources ( Such as Rutger Hauer ) believe That Guy to be none other than Jim Stancel because well, you know Jim...he's that guy...

Big brother[edit]

That Guy was a star player on the latest porno edition of big brother. he was notable for being the only housemate that managed to "Shag" all the housemates 10 times in sucsession, these being Amber, Sky, Roadie, Tina, Hotgurl, Shizzler, Mannler, Bolly, Melanie, Jason, and even Big that particular order, of course...

The Death of That Guy[edit]

He sadly died from a combination of terminal bonitis and prolonged exposure to Radioactive Brickrock's in 2012 ( Setting mount to no end's o'conspiracy theorie's ), he went out with his boots on, but nothing else.

Fuck, we forgot to mention nothing.

Why That Guy Is A Nob[edit]

  • He sees you when you're sleeping
  • He knows when you're a-rape
  • He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes!

See Also[edit]