Toasted sandwich disorder

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Toasted Sandwich Disorder (abbreviated to TSD), a rare and disabilitating condition affecting about 5 in 1,000,000,000 Canadians, is a genetic abnormality that results in the sufferer being dependent on the sugar 4-5-cekyotastone, which is created during the process of toasting yeast-risen bleached white flour bread.

Symptoms of insufficient intake of 4-5-cekyotastone are dizziness, headaches, nosebleeds, loss of control of legs, and ingrown feathers.