Token ring

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Token ring.
A token picture

Token ring was a Local Area Network technology in common use before Ethernet It grew into disfavor with network engineers and administrators fast, partly because you cannot go on a Token Ring binge. Hunter S. Thompson mercilessly exploited this fact when promoting Ethernet. In fact he has a new book out called Fear and Trying to get Stoned off of Token Ring while Failing Miserably

Another reason for Token ring failing miserably is that many administrators on finding themselves broke went and pawned the ring. Now what good are tokens without a ring? Crisco systems Realized this, and stopped adding diamonds to their Token Ring implementation, but it was too little too late. You can still find a Token-less ring today in many Pawnshops


Token Ring was invented by Al Gore in the year 42. He was trying to develop a process or Al-Gore-Ythym for sending Internets to Ted Stevens. This didn't work however, because Gore was using a big truck, and Stevens only had a series of tubes. Looking for some inspiration, Gore travelled into the future to watch Lord of the Rings at a local cinema that only used tokens. Gore combined the two and got Token Ring. (Not to be confused with Tolkien Ring...)


It's been determined that a ring of fail connects these "de-vices".

Token ring involves a ring of connected devices, commonly known as "Things" The "things" pass a token around the ring, and when a "Thing" has the token, it can send Internets. If it doesn't have Internets to send, it can go to the local Arcade and spend the token playing games. Sometimes it does this instead of sending Internets anyway.

Token ring is a deterministic technology. This means that it Determines what games it will play in the arcade when it is wasting tokens. Actually it means that attached systems take pre-ordered turns playing games and wasting tokens. Sometimes the only game available is Tetris. Most systems have gotten tired of playing Tetris. When Super Mario Brothers 594050 is available, there is a long line to play it, usually involving systems from neighboring networks as well.

As you can see, wasting tokens is a big problem.

I just the other day got... an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, I got it yesterday. Why? Because it was at the Arcade Playing video games!!!

~ Ted Stevens .

Two solutions have been suggested to address this. The first one involves shutting down all Arcades within 5 miles of any Token Ring network, and the second involves eating carrots and lentils with a hippy named Neil. For the most part the first solution has been adopted. (When is the last time you went to an actual arcade that used tokens?) The second solution never works because a punk named Vyvyan always ends up stealing the Tokens.

The Future of Token ring[edit]

Theres no future for you!

~ Johnny Rotten

There is none. Token ring is pretty much dead. Thats all. Can you please reopen the Arcades now? I'm pretty sure computers dont steal tokens to play video games anymore. Now go away.