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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Vegetarianism.

Vegetarians are the only humans with working sex organs. They track down carnivores and eat them for fun, to show them what it feels like.

Vegetarians Unite![edit]

Vegetarians are a strange people, they believe that they can make a difference. Of course, the fault in this idea is that no one is intimidated by them. This is largely because they cannot develop muscles because they eat only vegetables, do not be afraid of their numbers, as long as you can lift more than 30 pounds, you can probably take them on. One reason to the fact that vegetarians are always grumpy and picket things is probably due to the fact that they're jealous of the protein that they do not get in their diets. Also, boca burgers taste like old broccoli and cow ass.

The idea that God doesn't want you to kill animals is preposterous. I doubt that the higher being wants to take away that twenty ounce porter house anytime soon. It is a scient(ology)ific fact that vegetables share a 99% resemblence to us in DNA terms, and says that we should embrace our leafy brethren in arms against the vegan menace.

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Vegetarians are pure evil. This is an incontestable fact. It all goes back to the great cabbage massacre of 53 and the carrot uprising of 67 ( also referred to as the Summer of Love ). The cabbage massacre occurred when vegetarians refused to eat their meat and in a frenzy of bloodlust went on the rampage, slaughtering and consuming defenseless cabbages in the town of Vegemite. Innocent cabbages were abducted and pulled leaf from leaf by ravenous vegetarians.

The carrot uprising of 67 came about as thousands of carrots and other tap root type vegetables rebelled against their captivity and oppression and led a demonstration against vegetarians everywhere. However, the vegetarians, not to be outdone, simply ate them all in a debauched frenzy of vegetable killing.

So now you know the true history of vegetarianism. Tell all your friends.

Arguements for Vegetarianism[edit]

Vegetarians often claim they live longer healthier lives, but who wants these stuckup assholes to live longer lives. Many annoying vegetarian girls come from Austrialia. Fact. Many vegetarians believe that their diet will eliminate world hunger. Aside from being a big load of shit, like the food they eat ( see above ), it doesn't make sense. I can either eat a pound of tender, juicy (prefferably still bleeding or even wiggling ) cut of steak, or a pound of cucumber ( otherwise known as shit ( see above and above again ) ). Vegetarians also like to argue about cruelty to animals. This can easily be countered with the "but meat is like an orgasm in your mouth arguement" along with the fact that plants are creatures too, and if the vegetarians aren't careful, the plants they consume will soon begin to rebel in the form of large baked potatoes and venus flytraps. Should you need more evidence of why vegetarians suck nuts, you can simply google the phrase "vegetarians suck nuts" and the little people that are in your computer finding sites when you use google will be happy to provide you with plenty of evidence. On a side note, meat is obviously the source of all of Chuck Norris' ( along with any other human being's ) power. This is probably why vegetarians have trouble not looking like big pussies. Lentil eating Indian soldiers managed to kick the ass of Alexander the Great two times. Once in "Alexander the Great" and then in the sequal movie "Alexander the Great-The Lost Gold of Shangralah". However actually they did use elephants to really beat the crap out of Alex. And Alex was from Greece, so like the story is totally wikipedia.

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