Vermont

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Vermont.


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A state of the United States of Dæmonica

Vermont is a small island located in the New England area of the United States. It covers an area of 1867 square miles, mainly consisting of dense hardwood forests, open farmland, and hippies. It is home to over three towns, eight people, and several million cows. The name Vermont is derived from the Nordic 'Ver', meaning Very, and 'Monte', meaning 'Communistic'. The second whitest state in the U.S., after Maine.


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Vermont was discovered in 1856 by the French-Canadian explorer Marquis de Sade. Seeking refuge from his native Canadia, the explorer christened the area the Republic of Vermont. However, lacking anything but trees, Marquis de Sade soon left Vermont and traveled north to play hockey for the Canadiens.

While christened in 1856, the Republic of Vermont lay unsettled for the next 90 years, until the invention of the hippy commune. Vermont (the French word for vermin) was officially founded in 1969 by Ben and Jerry of gourmet ice cream fame, as they brought the first hippy commune to the land. They settled into the fertile land near Lake Champlain, and called the first commune Dorset. Today Dorset is a fortified hippy conclave, which can be smelt for miles in all directions.

While initially thought to be part of the US, it now appears that Vermont is actually a suburb of la belle province, constructed solely for use as a ski resort. Unfortunately, the insurgence of ski resorts has brought the developers into conflict with the native hippies. More than one ski resort has had to be moved upwind of a native hippy commune, at great expense.

The capital of Vermont was recently moved from the city of West Haven to Montréal, as the exchange rate was better. Also, Montréal has better strip-clubs. And hockey. You like hockey, eh? I like hockey. And Poutine. Yep. Poutine. And hockey.

The only reason Marquis de Sade didn't go to New Hampshire was because of Vermonts large sums of Maple Syrup and New Hampshires upside down ways confused and scared him.

On June 16th, 2007 Vermont declared its independence from the United States. Nobody noticed.

Because Vermont is the whitest state in the nation and isn't blessed with "diversity" like most of the rest of the country, there are very few racists there. Evidently not having actual experience with "diversity" has made Vermonters a very enlightened people. Vermonters spend long hours writing letters to the editor demanding more public housing in Los Angeles, Detroit and Washington DC.

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