Virginia

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Yes, Virginia, I invented Kitten Huffing

~ Santa Claus on Kitten Huffing


A state of the United States of Dæmonica

Comes from here, though she won a beauty contest for New Jersey

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WWFSMD.jpg The Commonwealth of Virginia is a U.S. state on the Atlantic Coast of the Southern United States. Virginia is nicknamed the "Old Dominion" and sometimes the "Mother of Presidents" because it literally birthed 8 U.S. Presidents into existence. Virginia is known as being the state that wishes it was D.C. The geography and climate of the state is rather boring, but nonetheless is taught to little fourth grade Virginia children. By the following year, all they can tell you is that Virginia is roughly a right-side-up North Carolina. The capital of the Commonwealth is Richmond, a particularly dirty, industrial city loaded with hipsters thinking they're in Portland. Virginia Beach is the most populous city but doesn't have much in the way of good places to eat. The beach is kind of nasty too. Plus, the stench of nearby Norfolk tends to drive away tourists.

The area's history begins with indigenous settlements, and the founding of the Colony of Virginia in 1607 by the Virginia Company of London as the first permanent New World English colony. Land from displaced Native American tribes and slave labor each played significant roles in Virginia's early politics and plantation economy. Virginian's often justified these actions by pointing to the religious persecution they faced back in Jolly Old. When it was pointed out that only the pilgrims had fled Britain due to religious intolerance, the Virginia's simply shrugged and went back to beating their slaves. Virginia was one of the Thirteen Colonies in the American Revolution and joined the Confederacy in the American Civil War, during which Richmond was the Confederate capital. The state of West Virginia was created since the West Virginians were cowards and did not want to defend their homes. Although traditionally conservative and historically part of the South, both major national parties are competitive in modern Virginia.

The state government, home to the oldest legislature in the Americas, has been repeatedly ranked most antiquated by the Southern Poverty Law Center, often citing it as the leading hate group within the Mid-Atlantic South. Virginia's economy has very few sectors, usually only including agriculture and the production of firearms. The growth of the strip club and porn industries have made whores the state's leading export, with the industry based on the strength of Virginia's public schools and universities. Virginia does not have a major professional sports franchise, but is home to several prominent collegiate sports programs, and several not so prominent ones.

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Virginia.