Walrus

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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Walrus.

This articles is about Tommay-Toe Walrus Yu-Chiu Young and other young walrus pop stars. Tommay is somtimes known as Tommay-Toe, Tommay, Tommy, Tommerz, Yu-Chiu, Tommers and "A Beasite Boy" by his teachers. Tommy is a weird walrus of age 17. When he was a child, Tommy lived in in Antarctica until Global Warming started. He quickly fled to Maryland where he met the eggman. Soon afterwards, he went further south thinking it was colder there, and now currently resides in Alburqueque!

The walrus, (prenounced Woolworths, plural Walrii) is a super fatty species of the pinnipeds, a semi-aquatic vampiric tusked mammal from outer space that resides in cool climates. Its most notable feature is its large tusks which it uses to gore its prey and suck out their blood. They are the supreme arch enemy of the poacher. In the late 1800s it became associated with carpenters such as Karen Carpenter and Jesus. The commonly used plural of walrus is walrii, even though the correct usage is walruses (according to Grammar Nazis). This should be noted when trekking through their breeding grounds, as nothing offends a walrus more than poor english, or singing about narcotic penguins. it just pisses them off. For this reason, Paris Hilton (who has changed her last name to "squiggles" after leaving jail a "changed person"), is on the Walrus' Most Hated list, along with chris brown, and frank the pineapple. Former Walruses include Allie Murphy, Chris's ex-walrus.

The Louisiana Walrus was discovered in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in 2003. Several different species can be found. They look similar to severely obese women. The Louisiana Walrus is commonly mistaken for human beings and they are sometimes served at Burger King.