Wiener dog

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Those obsessed with so-called-experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Wiener dog.

A type of dachshund bred specifically to clean hardwood floors.

The wiener dog is a low-slung, elongated animal to which a dry mophead is affixed, either with epoxy resin, or more traditionally, a simple staple gun. The wiener dog is forced to run under furniture by means of an electrified prod, causing the mophead to drag across the floor and sweep up dust bunnies.

Possession of a weiner dog is currently regulated by the US Food and Drug Administration. Possession or use without a license is a Class 3 felony.